Richard Pheasant: "Well, what can I say? My name is Richard Pheasant. Most people who know me call me Dick".

Egritte Manbender: "Calm down. Now look, you've planted your fist in my Banoffee pie!"

Richard Pheasant: "This is Egrit Manbender. She's on the Mount Eidel Development Association. She's stuck up like the rest of them there; Hubert Stelfark and Turtle Desmond. They hate me!"

Hubert Stelfark: "For God's sake!"

Turtle Desmond: "He's killing the tourists of the town!"

Hubert Stelfark: "Tourism, Turtle, he's killing tourism."

Ponkin Bourke: "Nice pie, Egritte!"

Richard Pheasant: "That's my mate Ponkin Bourke. He volunteers on the council, coz I think he fancies the posh Manbender one."

Richard Pheasant: "Hello? Hello?"

Richard Pheasant: "I was a proud man. I took no shit. This is me last week, getting kicked out of me local pub... (Which is pretty normal, like)."

Richard Pheasant: "Barred now am I? Is that it? Barred?! You're throwing me out Patsy?! For what? It's only just gone 8am! That pint on the counter's mine! It's mine right!"

Egritte Manbender: "We have to think about Richard...".

Hubert Stelfark: "I don't want to think of him. Look Ponkin, a free spice-burger with chips every weekend, that'll do it, right?"

Richard Pheasant: (Knocks on pub door) "Wha? Hah? No I haven't got my foot in the door, close it if you want! I don't fuckin' care. Ah you're just the same as you always were Patsy Goggleses."

Egritte Manbender: "Something must be done about Mr. Pheasant. We are the Mount Eidel Development Association. It's our job to 'develop' an-and to 'solve'. Have some more pie, Ponkin?"

Turtle Desmond: "He's bad for business! That's what I think, and no less. He has to be dealt with."

Hubert Stelfark: "Exactly Councillor Desmond, can Sergeant Cody not just shoot him? Even just by accident?"

Turtle Desmond: "Condoms and torn underwear!" Egritte Manbender: "What do you think Ponkin?" Ponkin Bourke: (Munches biscuit) "Wha?" 

Richard Pheasant: "This town's gone to fuck so it has. Who'd want to live in Mount Eidel anymore? Bad enough your family gets my entire dole! That wife of yours put my rent up again... I won't pay Hannah, sure there's no money. No jobs! Nobody knows the real Dick Pheasant! (coughs)"

Egritte Manbender: "Ponkin? Are you alright Ponkin? You're staring straight through me. We're, speaking about Richard?"

Ponkin Bourke: "Sorry Egritte, I was caught, eh, Dick, yeah, Dick, well, he's his own man like,"

Hubert Stelfark: "We're about to hold the 'Community Games' for bloody's sake! What about the children!"

Ponkin Bourke: "He hasn't got any, as far as I know. He sez Shlioler is barren. It's not his thing like."

Hubert Stelfark: "No! His thing is fuckin' that feral female at the back of the storage cabins in our park!"

Richard Pheasant: (Sneezes) "Jaysus! Look! Look?! You've given me a cold now! Kickin' me out! You're responsible!"

Hubert Stelfark: "We've no money until this event generates some, and we can't hope for that if Richard Pheasant is lolling around with his tackle on show!

Sorry Ponkin."

Ponkin Bourke: "It's alright Hubert. Dick can be aggressive but he's not that bad once you get to know him."

Richard Pheasant: (Sneezes).

Hubert Stelfark: "Ok listen Ponkin, as well as the weekend spice burgers, what about: 24 cans of Tuborg, free, each week, wha? I can get them from Shamey Gansella down at the Offo in return for some sponsoring. Whaddaya think?"

Ponkin Bourke: "These are lovely Egritte... Oh, eh, yeah, that might work Hubert."

Hubert Stelfark: "Just have a word with him Ponkin. The MDA have too much on the agenda with sanitation expenditure than to waste our time on middle-aged miscreants."

Egritte Manbender: "Public sex Ponkin."

Ponkin: (Starts to choke).

Egritte Manbender: "Chairman Hubert is right."

Ponkin Bourke: "Sorry, okay Egritte. I’ll do that. I’m on for that. Yeah. I’ll speak to him. Low profile... Ok."

Richard Pheasant: "So that was their plan. To bribe me with beer to stop having public sex with my girlfriend Shlioler. And why? Well in case you didn't hear; The Mount Eidel community games sports day was coming up and they were under stress to show off the town and didn't want my cock hanging out in the middle of it, so to speak. Would I take up the offer?? Listen and find out!"

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