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Welcome to Built Not Born , a

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podcast by Chelsea Tansey . Here

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you will become more successful in

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every area of your life , one episode

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at a time . Built Not Born

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, because you don't have to be born with

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innate success to be the woman of your dreams

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. You build her .

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Hey guys , welcome back to a brand new episode

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of the Built , not Born podcast

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. It is your girl , chelsea Tans

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, here to give you my latest revelation

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. Okay , first and foremost , I

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have to say that learning

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to grow through having

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a puppy right now is testing

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the resilience and

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the patience and the strength that I have built

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up over these last few years

0:48

. You

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know you always think that you're prepared . You put it on the

0:52

vision board , you're super excited to get it . I'm not

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saying it's a bad thing , okay , I'm fully

0:57

enjoying it , but it's

0:59

a change , right . It's definitely

1:02

taught me a lot of things . It's brought up a lot of

1:04

things that I already knew and highlighted them and

1:07

, honestly , one of the biggest things

1:09

that has hit me since getting Enzo

1:11

is I just continuously keep asking myself

1:13

like , how do I want to feel

1:15

looking back at his puppy stages

1:18

? I , for one

1:20

, want to feel like , okay , I put everything

1:22

that I could into training him . I spent

1:24

so much time soaking in when he was little

1:26

. Because we all know children

1:29

grow fast , puppies grow faster

1:31

, and every single person

1:33

I've been talking to is like make sure you

1:35

soak it up , make sure that you are in

1:37

the moment , make sure you're present with him , make

1:39

sure you're taking all the pictures . And

1:41

there's definitely a little bit

1:43

of my heart that's like , oh my god , what if I miss

1:46

a good moment ? Like I gotta make sure I'm taking a picture

1:48

. But there's also a complete other

1:50

side that has really

1:52

put things into perspective for me . I feel like if

1:54

there's one thing that's been consistent on

1:57

my page throughout my life , throughout the past

1:59

few years , is really talking

2:01

about slowing down , enjoying the moment , moment

2:03

being present , stillness , letting

2:05

it be good . All of these things have been

2:07

such key components to my growth over the last

2:10

few years and what I keep getting

2:12

pushed towards is just deepening into

2:14

that knowing , deepening into those practices

2:17

of being super still and

2:19

mindful . And if there's one thing

2:21

that Enzo has really taught me

2:23

is actually allowing that for myself , allowing

2:26

myself to slow the heck down Right

2:28

, even if it's halfway through the day , I'm like , oh

2:30

, I need to train him . Now I'm doing

2:33

a time audit , as some of you guys know . Every

2:36

quarter I start the quarter off

2:38

the first seven days I audit my time , I

2:40

audit you know where I'm putting a lot of my energy , et cetera

2:42

. And

2:50

today I'm like doing my time audit . I'm writing out how I'm spending every single half an hour . Like

2:52

I am meticulous , like if I go pee , I am putting it on my time audit . Okay , you guys can literally hear

2:54

him playing in the back of this toy . So I

2:56

was doing it today and it made me so happy

2:58

and I had this moment of pride for myself because

3:00

I'm writing out my time audit and

3:02

I put in there I said , snuggled with Enzo

3:05

for like half an hour Old me

3:07

would have been crippling

3:09

and been like you should have been working , you're wasting

3:12

time . And this time

3:14

audit came at such a perfect , perfect opportunity

3:16

for me because I , when

3:18

I I'm not going to lie you guys when I first

3:20

did a time audit , I was

3:23

in an internal battle with myself

3:25

and I said I

3:29

said , okay , if I have to write down everything

3:32

I do for seven days , let me make it the most

3:34

productive days of my fucking

3:36

life . Like I was like so driven

3:39

to be competitive with myself

3:41

, with how much I could accomplish , so

3:43

that when I turned it in , kendall would

3:45

be like oh , wow , I'm so impressed , I'm so

3:47

proud of you . Like she never , she

3:50

doesn't promote this . Okay , it was my own

3:52

idea of what I thought success would look like

3:54

, and like there's that part of you , when you

3:56

hire a mentor , that just wants to

3:58

make them proud . And so I was like I'm

4:00

going to fill it up , like I was doing the

4:03

the most . And

4:05

this is when I realized how much I love Kendall

4:07

, because she came back to me she's like you're

4:09

doing too much and it

4:12

puts so much into perspective for me . Like what do you mean

4:14

? Like there's a part of me that thought I was gonna get

4:16

like a gold star for doing as much

4:18

as I was doing . She's like you need to dial

4:21

it back . I was like , oh

4:23

, okay , you know all that stuff that

4:25

I'm preaching . Maybe I should like really

4:27

start applying it into my business , because I

4:29

really thought I did something there . So

4:32

, going into the time audit that I'm doing

4:34

now , putting in like I

4:36

had you guys can hear

4:38

him in the back , I'm sorry if you can hear him , we

4:41

are . I'm putting in like okay , I had a

4:43

two hour long morning routine . This morning

4:46

I am sitting down to do this

4:48

podcast . I didn't rush into it

4:50

, uh , just like so much , it's just , I

4:52

just feel really proud you guys . I'm like I'm actually

4:54

taking the time , taking

4:56

time away . I went sat outside . I

4:59

ate my lunch half an hour block

5:01

for my lunch , right ? It's like a nine to five

5:03

. Gotta give yourself your lunch break , otherwise you

5:05

are a mean boss to yourself . My friend amy

5:07

says that all the time , and so

5:10

I was like , okay , I'm gonna go sit outside . I just watched

5:12

the trees and it actually astounded me

5:14

because the more that I have committed to this

5:17

like restorative era for me , which I'm gonna

5:19

get into , the more that I

5:21

have just my eyes have opened to

5:23

I didn't even touch my phone throughout eating

5:25

. I used to not be able

5:27

to eat a meal without checking

5:30

my phone . Some of you guys might be

5:32

listening to this and you're like hi

5:34

, present , this is me . Do

5:36

we need to sit for five seconds and understand

5:38

how insane that is ? That we cannot eat a meal

5:40

for 30 minutes without our phones ? And

5:45

, okay , okay , if you're alone and you're

5:47

like I'm bored , I need to put on a YouTube video

5:49

. That's one thing . What about the people

5:51

who are literally sitting with people

5:53

across from them ? You still have to

5:56

be on your phone . What

5:58

is that and the reason

6:00

? Obviously I'm like , okay , be super present

6:02

. This is something that we should all be doing

6:04

. This is know . Obviously it's good for

6:06

your mental health and , to be so

6:08

honest with you guys , I always looked at like presence

6:11

and stillness and all this stuff . I was like it's great

6:13

for your mental health , right , it gives you the opportunities

6:16

to check in with yourself . It's just good

6:18

, all in all , to know where your mind

6:20

is at and give yourself the space to actually process

6:22

what needs to be processed . But

6:25

I always have been so hyper-focused

6:28

on , like , the mental healing , the

6:30

spiritual side of things , the internal side

6:32

of things , right , and I'll be honest

6:34

, like in that process I

6:36

began to , I

6:39

began to neglect my actual body's

6:41

healing process . And I

6:43

go to the gym , I eat well and

6:45

there's a big majority of us that

6:47

think that that's enough . But when you have

6:49

put yourself in stressful situations

6:52

whether it was , you know , quote , quote your fault

6:54

or someone else's , if you have undergone

6:56

highly stressful

6:58

, traumatic situations and you

7:01

just think that eating well

7:03

and going to the gym is going to help you make that better , you

7:05

are sadly mistaken . Because if

7:07

we're looking at stress alone , like stress

7:09

and trauma alone , the impacts that

7:11

has on a body nevermind if you've

7:13

had years of drinking , years on birth control

7:16

, you know more stress , maybe

7:18

eating disorders , things like that . No one

7:20

is taking into consideration the way that we also

7:22

need to heal our body . And so

7:24

I hired a colleague

7:27

, friend , mentor her

7:29

name's Sierra Baines to do

7:31

a lot of functional testing on me . So she's

7:33

one of my mentors right now and we're going

7:35

through what , honestly

7:37

, I think might be the most life-changing

7:39

chapter of my entire existence

7:41

, because I obviously am so

7:44

mental . I'm the woo-woo like . I

7:46

am always up here in the

7:48

clouds in my head , but it never

7:50

really , it never really struck

7:52

me to be like yo . You need to do healing

7:55

for your body and that's why stillness

7:57

is equally as important , because if I'm

7:59

looking at how many years I spent in this like

8:01

fight or flight , chasing , running

8:04

towards my goals , like it was constant

8:06

, go , go , go the impact that has

8:08

on my body . And then let's also take into consideration

8:10

we drink tap water for one , we

8:13

cook with aluminum foil for

8:15

two . We're on birth control like there's so

8:17

many toxins in our food nowadays

8:19

. You go to Target , you guys . I do this every

8:21

time because Sal likes to shop at Target , I like to to

8:23

shop at Whole Foods and we go down the aisles

8:26

and I'm looking at the ingredients , like I

8:28

bought cashews the other day Okay , cashews

8:31

, what could be

8:33

in them ? You think , oh , we just pick

8:35

the nut and we put them in the jar and sell them . No

8:37

, there's peanut oil . Why is there

8:39

peanut oil in these cashews ? Anyways , that's

8:42

a whole different tangent , but point being

8:44

is really that if we're looking

8:46

at the ways in which we need to heal , we need

8:48

to address our physical symptoms as well , and that also

8:51

comes with the importance of needing to

8:53

meditate , be still , et cetera . So

8:55

I've kind of found myself in

8:57

this restorative era where , for the first

8:59

time in my life , I , you guys , have fully

9:02

, fully , given

9:04

myself permission to rest

9:06

to . I almost want to say

9:08

do nothing , like I am purposely

9:10

looking for ways and it's so fun for me

9:12

because I feel like I've never been able to do this but

9:15

I look for ways to . I

9:17

don't want to say be lazy . I'm like what's the best way to say

9:19

this ? I think so

9:21

many of us are so hyper-focused on on being

9:23

productive . I

9:25

think so many of us are so hyper-focused on being productive , I'm looking for ways

9:27

to not be productive , like I'm looking for how can I spend my time doing

9:30

the most random shit , because

9:33

I know it will make me feel better . And something I've

9:35

even been talking to my clients about recently is like

9:37

a lot of people have a hard time

9:39

just sitting alone with themselves with their thoughts

9:41

, and I understand that because everybody

9:44

does Like it's just , everybody does it's

9:46

awkward . You're like I don't want to have that conversation

9:48

with myself . We've been avoiding it for 20 years

9:50

, but something

9:52

that's that I've noticed within myself and

9:55

apparently this is a weird thing , but

9:57

if it works for me , it probably

9:59

will work for you . I love cleaning

10:01

. I love washing dishes , I love

10:04

the soapy , warm water . I love folding

10:06

laundry . I love those things

10:08

. And I never quite understood why . I think that

10:10

there's a bit of like my type , a personality

10:13

that likes things being like clean and orderly

10:15

, and you know I like organizing and whatever

10:17

. But I realized

10:19

as I was talking to one of my clients I was like mindfulness

10:22

is not always like being Gandhi in

10:24

the middle of your living room for eight hours doing absolutely

10:26

nothing , cross-legged meditating , because

10:29

realistically that's not going to work for all of

10:31

us . So some intro ways

10:33

to stillness and presence that I would really

10:35

push a lot of people to do and this

10:37

is what I tell a lot of my clients is to

10:39

look at ways that we can be still

10:41

in the my gosh

10:43

, he's getting rowdy ways

10:46

that we can get still in the mind

10:48

but do things with our bodies . So maybe it's

10:50

like maybe it is washing clothes , maybe it's

10:52

doing your laundry , maybe maybe it's

10:54

a coloring book , maybe it's

10:56

and this is something I actually suggested one of

10:58

my clients legos like get creative

11:00

again . I don't know about you guys , but growing

11:02

up , I was obsessed with

11:04

crafting . When was the last time you went to Michael's

11:07

, not for something that you actually felt

11:09

like you needed in order to be productive , you

11:11

just went to Michael's for the hell of it . You found like a birdhouse

11:14

and you decided to paint it Like . When was the

11:16

last time that used

11:18

to be the joy in my every

11:20

day of life ? When can we start tapping

11:22

into that again ? Because

11:26

you all know we're sitting here painting , we're sitting here writing

11:28

, we're , you know , doing these things with our hands that don't

11:30

involve any mental effort and

11:32

these ideas start coming to you . Right ? It's the same thing

11:34

as and I can , I can

11:37

anticipate this with every single person I talk to

11:39

. I say , where do you have your best ideas

11:41

, like , where do you feel the most creative ? 99%

11:44

of people will tell you that it's in

11:46

the shower , and I think , hmm , what makes

11:48

you think that that's true ? Most of the time

11:50

, it's because you're doing something with your hands . Your mind

11:52

is idle , you're just an autopilot

11:55

, and so it's so simple for us

11:57

to like , almost like channel

11:59

in those moments , because you're actually giving

12:01

yourself the space to do so , because you

12:03

, more often than not , are probably

12:06

in more of a quote-unquote mindfulness

12:08

place doing those types of things than you are

12:10

meditating if you're constantly just thinking about your

12:12

to-do list while you're meditating . I'm not saying

12:14

avoid meditating if you quote-unquote can't

12:16

meditate , because that's what everybody says

12:18

. Everybody skips it and thinks that they can't because

12:21

I used to say the same thing . I'm

12:26

not gonna lie , but in the meantime , work with yourself , make

12:28

solutions and systems that actually help you . The

12:30

reason why I

12:32

want to talk about stillness and presence and why

12:35

I think this is so important is because number one , like

12:37

me going into this restorative journey

12:39

and also seeing the , it's been so

12:41

crazy . This is the most

12:43

lean back approach I've been in

12:45

my entire life when it comes to just like my goals

12:48

, business , et cetera . It's scary

12:51

. There is a part of this surrender

12:53

that you're like am I going to make

12:55

it out alive if I'm not forcing

12:57

an outcome ? 24 seven Like ? That's scary . You're

12:59

like I'm supposed to be hustling , grinding , working

13:02

24 seven . Like what do you mean ? I can take

13:04

time off midday to

13:06

not nope , something's

13:08

wrong here because we've been so

13:11

conditioned otherwise . So , seeing

13:14

how much it's already helped my

13:16

business and I'm going to be honest , I think I'm

13:18

really good at this the more that I think

13:20

that I'm good at this , the more I realize I'm actually not that great

13:22

at it and it's just a constant effort of me leaning

13:25

in more and more and more . It's funny because I

13:27

have friends that I'll post myself

13:29

in the bath at like 3 pm on a Thursday

13:31

. They're like how do you do this ? And

13:34

so here I am . I'm like I

13:36

think I'm so good at taking time away . I'm

13:38

talking to Sierra . The other day we

13:40

have our little check checking call and we were

13:42

just talking about work Cause I was like I'm really

13:45

trying to like surrender to this man . I

13:47

feel I don't know if I'm doing it right

13:49

, because when I'm so used to

13:51

being at 110% in effort

13:53

and output . My 90%

13:55

looks like I've pulled back Right . You're

13:57

like , wow , like you've definitely like taken

14:00

some time pulled back . So in

14:02

my eyes it's impressive , because I've never

14:04

understood what it's like to be at 50% . So

14:06

it was shocking

14:09

to her when we had the conversation

14:11

of how many days I'm working and I was like , yeah , I still work six

14:13

days , I'm just more strategic with it . The

14:16

look on her face , you guys , it

14:21

was . It was in that moment that I

14:23

knew that I needed to reevaluate

14:26

how I was approaching this . So this

14:28

week I was like I'm , I'm

14:30

a restorative queen . I'm , you know

14:33

, I'm really prioritizing longer routines

14:35

. I'm getting into it , I'm being still , I'm practicing

14:37

my mindfulness , um , and

14:40

it just honestly , I had to sit for a minute

14:42

in bed the other night . I was like just

14:44

about to go to bed and , of course , this is when your best ideas

14:47

come to you and I just wrote

14:49

out what would life feel like

14:51

if I wasn't chasing something ? And

14:54

I think that's what a lot of people

14:56

I talk to have gotten to . Majority

14:58

of you guys listening to this have gotten to a point where

15:00

life is okay , you're

15:02

safe , you made it out , you're

15:07

making money right , you're enjoying life , things are happening for you , and while

15:10

that sounds really good , saying it out loud

15:12

, there's that point in your brain that's

15:14

like oh fuck , the

15:16

other shoe's going to drop , something's going to go wrong , like

15:18

this is not okay , like I need to

15:20

have something going on , I need to have something

15:23

that's not right or something that I have to achieve

15:25

to feel normal , because we don't know what it's

15:27

like to just sit , to just

15:29

hang out , to just be like okay

15:32

, we're at peace , I'm not chasing anything , we're just

15:34

enjoying life . The thought of that

15:36

sends you into

15:39

a frenzy , because it's so

15:41

chaos , you're so used to chaos that

15:43

the calm feels scary

15:45

. And so I

15:47

was sitting there and I was like what would it be like if I just

15:49

stopped chasing ? Like , all

15:52

at once , just like , stop

15:54

chasing . I obviously do what I need to

15:56

do , so do not take this as oh , I'm

15:58

going to , you know , go be a homeless

16:00

person . I'm just going to live on the street . I'm going to give up all

16:02

my belongings , I'm going to give up my business . Bye . No

16:05

, that's not what I mean . I still have

16:07

my business , I still serve my clients , right ? I'm

16:09

still messaging people , I'm still doing my

16:11

podcast . I'm still doing the things

16:13

, but I do it with so much more intention

16:15

because the rest of my time isn't filled with

16:17

bullshit work . Because , I'm going to

16:19

be so honest , 99% of you guys right

16:21

now are like , oh my God , I work so much

16:23

, I work 14 hour days . If

16:30

you sent me your time audit you time audited what you did and where you're actually putting your time

16:32

, guarantee you majority of the work you're doing is just filling

16:35

time . It's not moving the needle forward , it's

16:37

just filling space up and you're

16:39

not even being productive . But here you are with

16:41

this like badge of honor . That's like I work much

16:43

and you're getting nothing done . You're

16:46

leaving at the end of the day being like what did I even

16:48

do ? Because you're not even clear on it and you're

16:50

more set on working longer hours

16:52

than you're actually getting something done . And

16:54

that's the difference is okay if I know

16:56

all I have to do is complete three tasks

16:59

today , like I give myself

17:01

a big three . I go one , two , three , two , three , three tasks

17:03

I have to do and I show up and I do them

17:05

so well , I'm so present in them . At

17:07

the end of the day I feel good about myself . I

17:09

usually stop working earlier

17:12

and I still get stuff done . And the problem

17:14

with so many people and why they're so incapable

17:17

of doing this is there is this hidden

17:19

clock in our brain

17:21

that is counting down every

17:23

single hour we have in the day and we feel

17:26

this need to try to race time

17:28

to get as much done as soon as possible , because

17:30

otherwise the world is going to blow up , or

17:33

so it seems . When we can take that

17:35

step back and understand that nothing's actually ever

17:37

urgent . No

17:40

one's holding a gun to your head saying that you have

17:42

to have this all done right now . No one

17:44

has this deadline or this timeline

17:46

besides you , and if it doesn't

17:48

make you feel good and it's not serving you

17:50

, change it . I

17:53

think the first step to getting

17:55

out of this whole rigmarole of being a hamster

17:57

on a wheel is just acknowledging that that

18:00

is a choice that you have put yourself there . No

18:02

one else has put you there . No one else says you have

18:04

to . You decided

18:06

to get on the hamster wheel . You can just

18:08

as willingly step off and say , nah

18:10

, dog , that ain't for me . And when

18:12

you give yourself that power , all

18:15

your actions start to align with it . You

18:17

start to allow yourself a new way of life

18:19

and that's really when you start to think , hmm , life

18:22

really does get to be this good . And

18:24

when this started happening for me , if I'm

18:26

being so honest , was within

18:28

the first year of my entrepreneur journey

18:30

. Anyone that knows me for

18:33

a long period of time knows I

18:35

was in a very fuck you masculine

18:37

bodybuilder energy . I was like working

18:40

14 hour days . You know , I talked about this all the

18:42

time . I was like working 14 hour days . I'm

18:44

rising grand up at 4am going to

18:46

the gym and I thought I was like so

18:48

noble I did , and

18:51

it's funny because at that point I got

18:53

my hormones tested and it came back . I

19:01

was all I had in me was test , super high testosterone . Everything else had dropped . And I saw that

19:03

. I said that checks out , that makes sense . And I went to my coach

19:05

within the same week of getting my blood

19:07

results and I was like going through my Instagram

19:10

before our call and I had

19:12

like had a moment of just like so

19:14

much shame . You guys , I'm going to be

19:16

so real . I was looking

19:18

through my Instagram and I was like who is

19:20

this ? I was like it is so masculine

19:23

and mean and that is

19:25

not me at all . And I

19:28

said to her I was like I feel like I'm just like , and

19:30

okay , disclaimer , I'm not bashing

19:33

, quote unquote masculine energy . You

19:35

can be feminine in a fuck you energy . You can be feminine in a fuck you energy . You can be feminine

19:37

in a villain energy . You can . Okay . Enough

19:39

with those titles . But this is

19:41

what I said to her , okay , so I'm telling it

19:43

as I said it to her . So I just wanted to disclaimer

19:46

that A lot of women come to me saying I

19:48

have so much masculine energy and they demonize themselves

19:50

. Stop the shame . Okay , it's

19:56

not a bad thing At this point in my life . It was not serving me . So I was like I feel like

19:58

I'm just like in this rah , rah , fuck you

20:00

masculine energy . And

20:03

she goes . I was waiting for you to notice

20:05

. Is that not the best part

20:07

when your coach says , oh , I was waiting for you

20:09

to say something . No , that's why

20:11

I hired you Like you , call me out when that's

20:13

happening , but nonetheless , at least I'm

20:15

self-aware enough . I

20:22

, I hired you like you call me out when that's happening , but nonetheless , at least I'm self-aware enough . I found it right , I got it , and it was just really interesting to me

20:24

looking at how I lived my life and she kind of introduced me to the concept

20:27

of let it be good . And that's where I got it from you guys I didn't make it up , I'm not

20:29

taking creds for it , but it is like a slogan

20:31

in my life . Now I have it tattooed on

20:33

my hand let Let it be good Because

20:36

I thought that life had

20:38

to be so difficult . I truly thought that

20:41

life had to be a struggle . And

20:43

she said something to me once and it hit me so hard

20:45

. She's like if life , if

20:47

the only way that you get success through life , is

20:49

through struggling , don't you think you've struggled

20:52

enough now ? And just hearing

20:54

that and thinking back to what

20:56

I've been through , I'm like , oh my God

20:58

, I've been through so much in

21:00

my life , struggling , having

21:03

the worst time ever , having childhood trauma

21:05

. I think that I have put in

21:07

my fair share to just enjoy

21:09

the life that I get now . And it

21:12

was just like the craziest concept to me . And she

21:15

put me on to like Louise Hay and Abraham Hicks

21:17

and all these people and so I'm looking into Abraham

21:19

Hicks . That opens a whole other

21:22

portal . If you guys have never listened to Abraham Hicks

21:24

, that's your new morning routine . It's

21:27

not going to make sense to you at first . I'm just going to tell you that right

21:29

now , stick it out , I promise it changed my entire

21:31

life . So I'm listening to Abraham Hicks

21:33

talking about , you know , the vortex

21:35

, and this isn't that . And I was . I

21:37

was like this is an entire new world

21:40

I've never been exposed to . Let it be good

21:42

. What the what is this ? Letting

21:44

life be good , like what ? I thought ? Life was hard

21:46

, you

21:51

know . I thought I was always having to be anxious . And this isn't that . And I started to introduce this

21:53

idea . What this looked like for me was every morning I

21:55

woke up and I just asked myself how good

21:57

can it get ? And I was like flirting

22:00

with myself . I'm like flirting with life at this point

22:02

. How good can it get , how

22:04

amazing could it be ? How seamless

22:06

could my travel day be , how abundant

22:09

could I be ? Like just for kicks , just for fun

22:11

, let's just find out . And

22:13

it was like this fun theory . For me it's almost

22:15

like the delulu is the solulu

22:18

, the lucky girl syndrome . I'm like , let's just try

22:20

it on , it's fun . But then things

22:22

started to actually happen for me . I

22:24

started to notice more opportunities

22:27

. Like I just like

22:29

it's almost like uncanny the things that would

22:31

happen just because my energy was in that place , where

22:33

all of a sudden I'd be getting full aisles

22:35

on airplanes , people would be giving me

22:37

free stuff , like people pay

22:39

for my order in the drive-thru , like just those

22:42

kinds of things , but multiple in one

22:44

day . And I was like , oh , it really can

22:46

be this good . Like why was

22:48

I making it so hard before ? Because

22:50

, if I'm being honest with you guys and I'm

22:52

going to share this with you because I think you might relate

22:54

I had a moment driving in

22:56

this era of my life and I was really

22:59

questioning myself like , why do I make this so much harder

23:01

? Like why don't I just let myself rest

23:03

? The thought back then of sitting

23:05

on my couch for five minutes doing nothing crippled

23:07

me . Crippled me . Okay , I was also going

23:10

to therapy . It was not a great time in my life

23:12

. I was going through it and

23:15

I was driving and I had

23:17

this thought of why can I not

23:19

just let myself rest ? Why can

23:21

I not just let myself be ? What

23:23

is that thing that I get

23:26

anxiety over ? And the

23:29

biggest thing that popped into my head was I

23:31

have this fear that I'm going to get in trouble

23:33

, have this fear that I'm going to get

23:35

in trouble and obviously , being 25

23:39

, living by myself , I'm

23:46

my own boss . It's like who's going to get you in trouble ? But

23:48

it's this deep conditioning that I have . I used to get grounded , probably

23:50

multiple times a month . I'll just say that I

23:53

got grounded a lot Growing

23:55

up . I always felt like I was going to

23:57

get in trouble . I was always getting yelled at things like

23:59

that and it's crazy

24:02

how much that conditioned my nervous

24:04

system to expect that right

24:06

. So even coming home from school as a kid , I

24:09

would walk in the door fully like do

24:11

like a sniff check , do like a vibe check . Like

24:13

are they angry today ? Like what can I get

24:15

away with ? Can I ask to go over to my friend's house

24:17

, yes or no If they're in a bad mood ? I'm like

24:19

oh fuck , okay , something's up

24:22

, I'm going to get in trouble . Who knows how this

24:24

is going to end . Like don't ask for nothing

24:26

, be lucky if you get fed . And

24:28

so I'm sitting there in the car and it just like dawned

24:31

on me that I was like I am so afraid to get

24:33

in trouble and having that

24:35

gave me so much power to understand where it comes

24:37

from . But then I also had the moment

24:39

of for myself looking

24:41

at , well , who's going to get in trouble ? Like

24:44

, who's going to get you in trouble ? If

24:46

I'm being so real with you guys at this

24:48

point , I was so scared that someone

24:51

, one of my friends or

24:53

, you know , a business related

24:55

. I

24:57

was so scared that , like a client was going to call me out and say , like you don't do enough

24:59

for us , or to say that like

25:01

they felt like I didn't care , because I

25:03

felt like if I wasn't giving them everything

25:06

24 , 7 that they were going to think that I

25:08

didn't care about them as much . And that was then

25:11

who I perceived might quote , quote

25:13

, get me in trouble . And so it truly

25:15

was . Through every stage of my life it was always

25:17

someone in something that I felt

25:19

was going like the other shoe was going

25:21

to drop . And I share this

25:23

in knowing that I'm not the

25:25

only one that's had that experience , especially

25:27

if you grew up in a house where you would

25:29

just get in trouble for things like and

25:32

I'm thinking again bringing this back to Enzo

25:34

if he pees on the floor

25:36

and I don't find it until five

25:38

or 10 minutes later , there is no

25:41

point yelling at him because he doesn't

25:43

know what happened , right ? Obviously

25:45

, as humans , we can communicate with words , but

25:48

it's the same thing as , like my parents

25:50

would find something or think of something

25:52

, or something would happen and I would get one

25:54

from school . They'd just be screaming at me . I

25:56

didn't understand what had transpired

25:58

. I just walked in the door and they would yell at

26:00

me or something would be going on . Same

26:03

thing with , like if he peed on the floor , and 10 minutes later I

26:05

go over to him laying on the floor and I start screaming at

26:07

him . He's going to be like what the hell ? Is

26:09

he going to like me ? Is he going to be more

26:12

skittish ? Most likely right

26:17

. Going to be more skittish most likely right . So , looking at how that's hardwired me to show up , it gave

26:19

me more permission to work through it when I realized

26:21

how delusional it was to think that anyone

26:24

was going to get me in trouble because , especially

26:27

this , I started teaching boundaries and

26:29

mindfulness and all this to my clients and

26:32

they started doing it and I was like you

26:34

cannot now sit back and think

26:36

that they're going to get mad at you for something you are teaching

26:38

them . And this is where , like , the fun

26:40

introduction of like embodiment came

26:42

to me , because again it kind of got into

26:44

this like flirting , teasing with life era

26:47

where I was like , ooh , I can do nothing

26:49

. And I can actually proposition this as a plus

26:51

and I can show my clients that I'm doing it and they'll

26:53

actually think higher of me because

26:55

of it . And I can show my clients that I'm

26:57

doing it and they'll actually think higher of me because

27:00

of it . Cheap code

27:02

, cheap code , because it's making my life better , it's making their life better by doing it . And

27:04

when I show them I do it , they do it too . I was like

27:06

this blew my mind . Blew my mind because

27:08

it came to a point again this mentor , you guys

27:11

, changed my fucking life . We

27:13

were on a call one night and I was like I'm so

27:15

, you know , I want to . I'm always trying to get back to my

27:17

clients . I'm always scared that I

27:19

don't get back to them fast enough or I'm not giving

27:21

them enough value . And I think it's so valid

27:23

for every single coach to go through a phase where

27:25

they're like second guessing . If they're doing enough that

27:27

. You're like I'm my own boss , I make

27:30

the rules , like there's no rubric

27:32

to go off of . This is scary . Let me work

27:34

24 seven instead . And

27:36

she was like do you sit there and wait

27:38

for me to answer you when you message me

27:40

? I'm like no , I send my message

27:42

and I know she'll get back to me , even

27:45

if it takes a day . Like I don't care , it's not urgent

27:47

, right ? I'm like whatever , I'm

27:49

out there living my life . She's like then what

27:51

makes you think that your clients don't

27:54

think the same thing , especially y'all

27:56

if you're like a fitness coach too , and

27:58

your client's asking you the most random

28:00

question , like I promise you , if

28:02

you take four hours to answer

28:04

them , if not more , if not a day , they

28:07

will be okay . They are not sitting there hovering

28:09

, refreshing their notifications on

28:11

their phone , waiting for your response

28:14

. That was the imagery that I used

28:16

to have in my head . I was like they're watching

28:18

, they're waiting for me To

28:21

be so honest and

28:23

I say this with love you are not that important

28:26

. They don't care that much . They have their own

28:28

lives . Go on with yours and know

28:30

that you can pick up with them when you

28:32

have the space and when you have the time

28:34

, the most common thing

28:36

I see , you know , obviously , since launching

28:39

Wholehearted , now working with coaches

28:41

, it's my favorite thing in the world . You guys , I

28:43

love what I do so much right now

28:45

and I'm like we're talking

28:48

through a lot of things and I love to get . I

28:50

did it I did this , actually , when I was still doing fitness too

28:52

but I go through like trends

28:55

that I talk to all of my girls about , because it really

28:57

allows me to create trainings and

28:59

content that's so hyper-specific

29:01

to helping them , which is like obviously

29:03

my ideal goal . And then I get more

29:05

people that have the same struggles right , because

29:08

I'm just speaking to them the whole time that more people are like

29:10

, hey , that's me too , let me join . So it's just , it's

29:12

an amazing marketing strategy , I will say , but

29:15

I'm going through what majority

29:17

of people are struggling with and there's like this sense

29:19

of urgency every time Like it's the same

29:21

thing with everyone , especially in the entrepreneur

29:23

space of I have to do more , I have

29:25

to be more , I'm not ready yet . You know

29:28

, like we expect to be

29:30

a 60 year old entrepreneur

29:32

by 25 years old . Most

29:37

of the girls , actually , I think all of the girls that I'm coaching right

29:39

now are in their twenties I'm like trying to

29:41

fact check this in my head If not close

29:43

to , you know around their

29:45

late twenties or whatever . And

29:47

it's so funny because we think , oh

29:49

, by 30 , I wanted to be married and I wanted

29:51

to have kids and I wanted to have millions of dollars

29:54

and I wanted all of these things , even

29:56

if you didn't take that time to

29:59

heal and be still and go through your

30:01

childhood trauma . That

30:07

is still an insane assumption to put on yourself , that by 30 , you would have that all

30:09

figured out , nevermind the fact giving yourself time to play . We're going to be so

30:11

real . Your first year of entrepreneurship

30:13

, when you start making , making good money , you are

30:15

going to do stupid shit . I just

30:17

maybe I'm just speaking from experience here y'all

30:20

when I first started hitting my first like 10k months-

30:22

I it's

30:25

like I wish I could go back . I

30:28

got into the mindset where it was like oh

30:30

, my income's not capped , so I

30:32

can just make more money . That

30:35

was my thought process , and

30:40

so I was spending

30:42

thousands of dollars on

30:44

dark sport . Every single month , every drop

30:46

, I'd buy at least like a thousand dollars worth of clothes

30:48

. I was getting my sleeve done

30:50

, I was traveling Like I

30:53

lived my best life . However

30:56

, however , looking

30:58

back now , I'm like , oh my gosh , it

31:00

just made me so stressed out . It made me so

31:03

stressed out , but I think we all

31:05

kind of needed that time to like have

31:07

ourselves a little bit of a play

31:09

. You know , I love my sleeve . Now I

31:11

I'm literally wearing dark sport

31:14

right now . Funny having this conversation

31:16

about not being in the hustle

31:18

mode , but that's tea

31:20

for a different day . Nonetheless

31:23

, there needs to be time for play

31:25

, there needs to be time for nothingness , because

31:27

this is what I honestly want you to think about

31:29

, and this kind of goes back to how I started this episode . I'm

31:32

looking at Enzo and I think I hope

31:34

to God that when you're fully

31:36

grown , I can look back and I can

31:38

say I enjoyed every single single

31:41

, every single second that you were a puppy . That

31:43

is my greatest hope and practicing

31:45

this now I hope that you know , when I become

31:47

a mother I can look at my children and

31:49

their development and fully know in my heart

31:51

I was with you every single step

31:54

of the way as you grew up . I can picture in

31:56

my mind your baby face

31:58

and your little hands and those moments

32:00

because I was so present in them . And

32:03

I think that when we're so quick

32:05

to wash away the moments that we are currently

32:07

living in , it leaves us so

32:09

empty because , like this

32:11

moment is in front of you for a reason

32:13

, pay attention to it . How

32:15

you're even going to get to where you want

32:18

to be long-term is by soaking in the moment

32:20

now . That has the lessons , that has the

32:22

moments , that has the beauty in it , and

32:24

that's how it creates you into who you need to be going

32:26

forward . But so many of us are wishing

32:28

away these memories , trying to get

32:30

somewhere else so

32:32

much faster , and we're missing such incredible

32:35

moments Like else , so much faster

32:37

, and we're missing such incredible moments like you used to pray for this , you used to wish for

32:39

this , you used to cry for this and now you have it and you're not even taking a second

32:41

to acknowledge that you have all the things you once wished

32:44

for . How silly is

32:46

that ? And I think

32:48

that , if I'm looking at

32:50

why this is so important to me , when

32:54

I'm on my deathbed and I'm looking

32:56

back at the most incredible years

32:58

of my life , my favorite memories

33:00

, my favorite moments , I

33:03

know for a fact it's

33:05

not going to be the days that I spent sitting at

33:07

my laptop . I know for a fact it's

33:09

not going to be all the moments that I was , you

33:11

know , working or doing all those things

33:13

, although necessary it's . It's

33:16

the little moments in between that I really

33:18

recognize and I notice the

33:20

little moments where you know I'm playing with Enzo

33:23

, the campfires , with my friends

33:25

, the the little moments in

33:27

between . It's never the big , significant things

33:29

like . If you look back to the happiest moments

33:31

in your life , were they orchestrated

33:33

and perfectly planned out , and

33:35

you know what I mean . Like you , working

33:38

and being achievement oriented

33:40

? Most likely not

33:42

. You probably just genuinely were

33:44

living in the moment and you're present . And that's

33:46

also probably why you remember

33:49

it , because there's a lot of people too that

33:51

and I this again , I'm just going on

33:53

tangents out here . One of the biggest

33:55

reasons why I stopped drinking alcohol was

33:57

because I used to spend my quote unquote happiest

34:00

days completely blackout and I couldn't

34:02

even remember my birthdays . I'm like why

34:05

would I wait an entire year hyping up

34:07

my birthday , being so excited for my birthday , and

34:09

then , when it comes , spend the entire day in

34:11

memory loss ? Does

34:15

that like not make sense to anybody else

34:17

? I'm so excited

34:20

for this day . I want to have memories . I want to like

34:22

have moments to talk about . I wake

34:24

up the next day . I don't even remember what happened , what

34:28

, like . I have

34:30

this new fear unlocked in me lately , and

34:32

it's the fear of not being present . I have such

34:34

a fear that I cannot be more present

34:37

in my life and I will sit

34:39

at my deathbed and I will worry about not having

34:41

more of those moments . So for any of you

34:43

guys listening to this , that's really what I want you

34:45

to take away , like , please have the same fear

34:47

as me . Don't let it eat you apart , because obviously

34:50

we're all gonna work . We all have things going

34:52

on . I do truly think that the more

34:54

that you can get in touch with , with that side

34:56

of you that wants more

34:58

in this moment , that wants to soak

35:01

into it , the better it'll be , because

35:03

, even if I'm looking at presence

35:06

and what it means to me . I've talked about this before

35:08

, so if you guys already know what I'm about to say , shout

35:10

out to you . You are an OG , but

35:12

when I went camping last summer for

35:14

my birthday , we I

35:17

always used to describe presents as

35:19

the things around me physically

35:22

, in my reality . So I'd be looking at what

35:24

can I see , what can I smell , what can I , you

35:26

know , hear , what can I , you know , maybe

35:29

, taste ? What can I you know what's what's

35:31

around me ? And

35:33

we were driving , if you guys

35:35

know the Okanagan Valley , we got mountains over there

35:37

and we were driving down a mountain

35:40

. So it was like just overlooking the lake

35:42

, you could see the trees . It was one of the most spectacular

35:44

views . Maybe I was just on a lot

35:47

of mushrooms , but it was one of the prettiest views

35:49

I'd ever seen in my life . And I remember

35:51

I , for the first time in my life

35:53

, felt crying come up in

35:55

my head . I was like why I'm about to cry ? And I said

35:57

don't question it , just allow it . And

36:00

I just started tears streaming

36:02

down my face and

36:05

I just fully surrendered

36:07

to the feeling that I

36:09

had inside my body , in my heart , and it

36:11

was just like this , like bliss , joy

36:14

, awe . It was just like I

36:16

was so overjoyed

36:18

seeing this and being in

36:20

a , in a car with with my friends

36:23

singing and dancing , and like

36:25

all my favorite people in one spot were just like

36:27

overlooking the lake , and it was just like this

36:29

magical moment . In

36:32

this moment , I was not achieving , I was not trying

36:34

to do something , I was not trying to be productive , I was just simply

36:37

living in the moment and I started not achieving . I was not trying to do something , I was not trying

36:39

to be productive , I was just simply living in the moment and I started bawling and I remember looking over at Sal and

36:41

he was like whoa , wait , are

36:43

you okay ? Like instantly , like boyfriend mode

36:45

is activated and he's worried that like

36:48

something happened . And I look at him , I

36:50

go , I'm just so happy and

36:53

I think about , I genuinely

36:55

think about that moment all

36:57

the time , all the time . If someone

36:59

wants to recollect one of my favorite

37:01

memories in my entire life , that one comes

37:04

up in the top five and I

37:06

was like it's just like one of those like little glimpses

37:08

in times and that's honestly why I love doing mushrooms

37:10

in the summer was because I was so heavily

37:12

present while doing them . Mind

37:14

you , I wasn't like fucking high and tripping balls

37:16

Like we're micro dosing . I am a baby

37:19

Like I , that's all I do . But

37:21

it was so incredible just seeing that , and

37:24

that was the first time that I understood that presence

37:26

isn't always what's going on outside

37:28

of you . Presence is also being attuned

37:30

to what's going on inside of you and fully

37:33

surrendering to those sensations of what's coming

37:35

up for you , whether it's anger and allowing

37:37

yourself to process that , or whether it's just like full

37:40

joy and allowing the tears

37:42

and the stream of tears to come

37:44

down your cheeks . So I

37:46

think that for all of us , it's just like a lesson

37:49

to come back home . Like me

37:51

and Brit always say this come back home

37:53

to yourself . You are so

37:55

focused on what everybody else is doing . You're so

37:58

focused on the next milestone , the

38:00

next record month , the next project , the next

38:02

workday , the next to-do list

38:04

. When are you going to give

38:06

yourself the opportunity to

38:08

be a human being and just relish

38:10

in the experience that you got to wake up

38:13

today you get this life . You can do

38:15

anything with it . You can go to the beach . Wake up today , you get this life . You can do anything with it , you can go to the beach

38:17

, you can play , you can love , you can laugh , like

38:19

. Those , in my opinion

38:21

, are the best gifts that you can

38:23

ever have in your entire life and we're wasting

38:25

away our opportunities to have

38:27

them because we're too busy working

38:30

. That

38:32

sounds psychotic to me . That

38:35

really is , in the last

38:37

year , what's really clicked for me , where I'm like what

38:39

am I doing ? Like , what am I prioritizing

38:41

? Where are my values ? Because , at

38:44

the end of the day , more money and

38:46

more time worked is not going to make

38:48

me happy . Am I working for a

38:50

good reason ? Like , yes , I'm going to be honest Now

38:52

that I like , I'm so embodied and I love

38:54

what I do . It's so easy , it's so fun for me

38:56

. But I even was doing . My

38:58

end of yesterday

39:01

was crazy . Okay , I did my end of week , I did

39:03

my end of month , I did my q3 planning , I

39:05

had my money date with myself . It was a lot of like planning

39:07

and reflecting and I hit my q2

39:09

goals , which is pretty fucking cool . But

39:12

in in terms of like how many calls

39:14

I booked , like how many girls came into my

39:16

world , like that's , that's super freaking cool . But

39:19

when it comes down to my projects

39:21

. I looked at my project load

39:24

and I , in the first time in my life , I was like

39:26

was I high when I wrote that ? Was

39:28

I actually insane ? Because in back in

39:30

December I went to our annual

39:32

planning event with WWBA in

39:34

San Diego and I'm sitting there planning

39:36

my quarter and Amanda

39:39

, she's on the team in WWBA

39:42

. She looks at it and she goes , um

39:44

, you might want to reconsider

39:47

. Like that's a lot . I

39:50

remember thinking no , no , like she just obviously

39:52

doesn't know me . Like I'll get it done , it's fine

39:54

. This

39:56

is how I know I've grown , because I fully

39:59

looked at it this time and I go that's

40:01

insanity . Like my next

40:03

quarter has three projects on it . I

40:05

think me and Kendall talked and we add one more

40:07

thing , which is me getting back on sending out

40:09

emails to my email list . But

40:13

I looked at that and I'm like who

40:15

, what , why

40:18

? Like what is the point ? And I'm

40:21

going to be so real . I'm bringing this back around because

40:23

I genuinely was in such a rush

40:25

to build a business , to scale . I

40:27

had this perfect vision of what I thought

40:29

it would look like to you guys . I thought that there

40:32

is this like end journey where

40:34

my business would be fully built

40:36

. I'd have all the systems , all

40:38

the funnels , all the things just properly

40:40

placed out right and I would just sit

40:42

there and I would be able to not work

40:45

as much . I'd still work , but everything

40:47

would be like set up and

40:51

I'm laughing because I feel like you feel the

40:53

same way that there's going to be this like beautiful

40:56

moment in your life where everything is

40:58

done . Welcome

41:01

to being an entrepreneur , where there's always a project , there's always a fire in your life where everything is done . Welcome to being an entrepreneur , where there's always a project

41:03

, there's always a fire in your business

41:05

and there's always something new to build , always

41:08

. And the best part too is , if you're as

41:10

committed to self-growth as I am , by

41:12

the time you even get done those projects , you

41:14

actually have to completely redo them because you've changed

41:16

as a person . Welcome to

41:18

the last three years of my life . So

41:22

when I'm looking at the fact I'm rushing through these projects and then having to

41:24

completely redo them a year later because

41:27

nothing's ever finished , nothing's ever done I'm

41:29

just constantly expanding and coming up with new ideas

41:31

it hit me where I was like why

41:33

wouldn't I just not vibe in the process

41:35

, like why would I not just do these things at a

41:37

place of love and just let it

41:39

flow when it needs to . And maybe this is me sounding

41:42

like very hippie , hippie , woo , woo , because

41:44

Kendall would be like , okay , yes , but let's

41:46

set a deadline . But for me it's

41:48

like what is the point of creating

41:50

out of a place of scarcity and fear

41:53

and shame and like this force

41:55

? What is the point ? Because

41:57

a lot of people think that if they

41:59

can create wealth out

42:02

of a place of shame , fear

42:04

, scarcity , guilt , etc . That

42:07

by the time they've accumulated enough

42:09

money they'll be saved . But

42:11

what happens when you build something out of

42:13

that energy is you perpetuate it

42:15

and you stay stuck in it . I

42:17

don't know about you , but building wealth

42:19

and building a business , to me , I want

42:21

it to feel good long-term . So

42:24

that means when I'm building stuff out , when I'm going

42:26

onto calls , when I'm , you know , even doing

42:28

quote , quote , sales calls with people , I'm

42:31

like this is as flowy , fun

42:33

, abundant as I can possibly

42:35

make it , because I refuse to

42:37

do anything in my life and in my

42:39

business out of a place of that like scarcity

42:41

, shame , fear-based mindset , because

42:43

all it does this is the

42:45

thing is a lot of people think oh , if I make money by

42:48

scarcity , fear , shame , and

42:50

I actually accumulate money that way

42:52

. By the time I have enough , it's just fine , just

42:55

goes away . Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo , those feelings go away

42:57

, but what actually happens is it amplifies

43:00

all of those feelings

43:02

. I don't know about you , not , nope

43:04

, not for me , not what I

43:06

want to live in . So if you want to feel

43:09

safe with money , if you want

43:11

to feel abundant in this , flowy

43:13

like joyful energy , you have to start with how you're

43:15

responding to things now in your business , because if you're building stuff out of a place that does

43:17

not feel good , it will only get 10 times worse as you move . Have to start with how you're responding

43:19

to things now in your business , because if you're building stuff out of a place

43:21

that does not feel good , it will only get

43:24

10 times worse as you move on . And

43:26

I started to recognize this because obviously

43:28

it happened to me . I'm hello

43:30

, my name is Chelsea and I always have

43:32

learned things the hard way Up

43:35

till now . Up till now . Now things get to be easy

43:37

, okay , but I will say I

43:39

was the president of learning the hard way

43:42

as president of that club , and

43:44

so me starting to learn about

43:47

the fact that I can actually start to get things easier

43:49

and I can have this lean back approach

43:51

and I'm just so transparent and open

43:53

online and I'm actually lately

43:59

the amount of like , inbound messages and people

44:01

wanting to work with me and people talking to me about my

44:03

program has actually astounded me , because

44:05

I this was like a love baby

44:07

. I started this and I I was talking to God

44:09

and I was like you are the most insane

44:12

mother ever I've ever met in my life . This is crazy

44:14

. I mean , maybe I didn't

44:17

explicitly say that to him because you

44:19

know , but I was thinking

44:21

in my head . I was like this is nuts . I

44:23

don't even know if this is going to work out , I don't really know , but

44:26

I remember I read a tweet or a twat or

44:28

something one day and it said the

44:30

God that gives you the business

44:32

idea will give you the clients . So I

44:34

fully went into this era and I was like bet

44:37

, let's see , do

44:42

a little sprinkle sprinkle on there , god , like I'm waiting for you not to say I didn't lift a finger

44:44

. I did work , but I probably have done less now

44:46

than I used to do before and it has come

44:48

so much easier . I'm like you have to be kidding

44:50

me that this was . This was the

44:53

answer . This whole time , and every

44:56

single one of you are sitting here being like I know

44:58

I need to have more stillness and take

45:00

more time for myself and stop chasing

45:02

things . All of you guys , I know for a fact

45:04

, are thinking that in your head Do it , actually

45:07

do it , because the part of you that is so scared

45:09

and so resistant to doing it is

45:11

what's holding you back . It's like the whole

45:14

saying of the thing you

45:16

keep avoiding is actually going to be the answer to your problem , which is stillness . The thing

45:18

you keep avoiding is actually going to be the answer to your problem , which is stillness . Letting

45:21

yourself just be still , let your

45:23

mind rest . So

45:25

stop scrolling . Give yourself the space

45:27

, give yourself the time . Embrace

45:30

this restorative arrow with me . Like let's

45:32

do this together . I like to think

45:34

of it as a bit of a slingshot . I'm

45:36

going to pull myself just back a little

45:38

bit . I'm going to lean back a little bit . But I'm going to pull

45:40

myself just back a little bit . I'm going to lean

45:43

back a little bit . I'm going to just come back into my shell for a little

45:45

bit , because I know full heartedly that it's going to shoot me forward

45:47

, and I think that's also the difference with all of this is that

45:49

I'm actually doing this in a place where I have

45:51

full faith , for the first time in my entire life , that

45:53

I'm like oh no , this actually works , because every

45:55

other time I've done , it actually made things

45:58

10 times better . And this also goes for

46:00

the coaches , and I always talk to coaches and this is what they

46:02

say . They say , I don't know why

46:04

, but every time I go on vacation , I

46:06

end up doing so much better . And I'm

46:08

like do you want to know why ? Because you're actually enjoying

46:11

your life in the process . That energy

46:13

attracts more clients , more money

46:15

to you , because you actually seem like

46:17

you like what you do when you like your life

46:19

. People don't want to hire someone that hates

46:21

themselves and hates their life . What is the

46:23

point of that Most people buy into

46:25

your program because they're buying into you , because they

46:27

like you and the life they live . Most

46:30

of my clients have come to me and they say actually

46:32

, they don't even ask me about how my program works

46:35

, which is astounding to me , because usually that's

46:37

the first question Don't me how my program

46:39

works , and that's

46:41

just that they sign up because they're like I love

46:43

the way that you live life and the way that you think about it . I want

46:45

to learn from you . I'm like that is that is

46:47

the epitome of being an entrepreneur and what this

46:50

is supposed to be like . You're so

46:52

honest online , you're so authentic

46:54

, you're so vulnerable that people come to you and

46:56

they're like I fuck with you , want to learn

46:58

from you . I don't even know what your program's like . Sign

47:00

me up , coach , and we just get into it and we

47:02

change their entire lives . Like that is the coolest thing

47:04

in the world to me , is it the most amazing

47:07

strategy ? Honestly , I

47:09

think it is Scratch that this is

47:11

the best strategy you could ever hear in your life , because even

47:13

when I started applying it to my coaches

47:16

that work with me , when I started applying it to them , all

47:18

of a sudden these things started happening . I had got a voice note this

47:20

morning and the end of it . I just loved it so much . She's like

47:22

I'm having so many breakthroughs

47:24

lately . It's shocking . I'm so

47:27

grateful . And I was just like the

47:36

awe in her voice just made it 10 times better . So I think , to end this , the biggest thing

47:38

that I want to focus on , when it comes down to this whole slow down , lean back energy , is the fact

47:40

that you need to have the faith that

47:42

it's already yours , because chasing

47:44

something and forcing something comes

47:46

from a place that you don't already think

47:48

it's coming to you . You chase something

47:51

if it's running away from you . You

47:53

force something if it's not already

47:55

happening on its own . So , if I'm looking

47:57

at , this is my destiny

47:59

. I am made for this . This

48:01

is already mine . Where is the

48:03

need to force and chase when it's already coming

48:06

directly to me ? Because what I want

48:08

wants me more . It's chasing me

48:10

. And that's when you get into the point of attraction

48:12

, because you understand and you have that faith that

48:15

I don't need to chase and force . This

48:17

is already mine . You have the innate knowing

48:19

that this is what I'm made for . A

48:21

lot of this was created for like , personally

48:24

for me , by going to God , like

48:26

I'm not going to be sitting here preaching these

48:28

Christian , like Bible verses to you , like , whatever

48:31

you have , whatever yicks

48:34

your yam or yums your yick you

48:36

guys know the expression whatever floats your boat

48:38

floats your boat and that's awesome . If

48:40

it's the universe , if it's Buddha , if you're an

48:42

atheist , I don't really care . The

48:44

thing I do care about is that you have a

48:46

big enough relationship with something bigger

48:49

than you and you have full

48:51

trust and understanding that , whether

48:53

it's the universe and the universe always has my back and

48:55

supports me and is watching me along the way

48:58

or maybe you're into God and you're

49:00

like he has a plan , it's God's plan . You

49:02

know , sing some Drake in there . Whatever it

49:04

might be for you , if you can anchor

49:06

into the fact that I know that there's something

49:08

bigger than me , that has a plan for me , that is guiding

49:10

me , that's supporting me , and I know I'm meant to be

49:12

something bigger , that's all you really need

49:14

. And the more you're able to tune into

49:16

that and tap into that , the more you can anchor

49:19

into having that faith that I don't need to chase

49:21

or force what's already destined for me

49:23

. That makes no sense . If I

49:25

knew my soulmate was here on earth and I

49:27

knew when and where I was going to meet them and

49:29

they were going to be perfect for me . They're going to be madly

49:32

in love with me I would not have to go

49:34

on dating sites . I would not be doing you

49:37

know , I would not be chasing people around . I

49:39

wouldn't be doing all those things , because most people

49:41

do it out of a place of chasing and forcing

49:43

because they don't again and I'm

49:45

going to repeat this , because why do we chase things

49:47

? First of all , it's running away

49:49

from us . We force things that we

49:51

don't think are already

49:53

happening . The only way I'd need

49:55

to force a door shut is

49:58

if it wasn't already shutting on its own . So

50:01

when I'm looking at this in present day situations , the

50:03

only way you need to force an outcome is if

50:05

you think it's not already happening . The

50:07

reason you don't think it's already happening

50:10

is most likely because you have confirmation

50:12

bias that it's not happening and you're waiting here impatiently

50:14

, being like hasn't happened yet . I'm in

50:16

my twenties . How am I not married with eight kids ? Yet

50:18

is absolutely ridiculous . First of all , you're

50:20

a baby , get used to it . You're an infant , go

50:23

change your diaper . But also , looking at the

50:25

fact of you

50:27

can't force something that is meant for you

50:29

, and when you introduce softness

50:31

, when you introduce this level of

50:34

this like energy , of like

50:38

just being so purely

50:40

aligned , it

50:43

just lines up . It just makes sense

50:45

. You don't have to sit here and worry . So

50:48

that's really where my

50:50

mind went the other night , when I was sitting in

50:52

bed and I was like what would it be like to just not chase

50:54

? What would it be like if I just to everything

50:56

? I just stopped chasing and

50:58

I just sat here like I knew it was already mine

51:01

. And the results may

51:03

shock you , but they started to come to me

51:05

easier , right ? I know we

51:07

all know that affirmation , don't we ? I

51:09

don't chase , I attract . Show

51:11

me , show me . You're

51:14

sitting over there trying to force an outcome

51:16

and you're sitting here posting on

51:18

your Instagram I don't chase , I attract . Show

51:21

me , show

51:28

me that energy . Okay , that's what we're tapping into , this next quarter of

51:30

2024 , this restorative era , this slingshot era , this I'm an infant

51:32

and I'm going to enjoy it era

51:34

, and I genuinely think this is

51:36

why kids have the best lives ever and why time

51:38

seems to go so slow , because they're so hyper

51:40

, present in every single moment , they're

51:43

soaking it all in , they're having so much fun

51:45

every single place they can . I think we could

51:47

learn a lot more from a

51:49

three-year-old , to be completely honest

51:51

with you , and if we started living like three-year-olds a little

51:54

bit more . I think our lives would be significantly

51:56

better , and that's when tapping into your inner

51:58

child . So I

52:00

know that right now you feel like you're

52:02

so far away from where you want to be . I know that it

52:05

feels like it might take a lifetime

52:07

to get to your goals and

52:09

maybe you feel like you need to rush it because

52:11

you're scared that time's running out or that someone

52:14

will get it before you . I'm here

52:16

to tell you that that's not possible . You're

52:18

exactly where you're meant to be . You're exactly who

52:20

you're meant to be , and trusting in that

52:22

is going to be your superpower . So

52:24

I hope that you guys got a lot from this podcast

52:27

. This is me hanging out with

52:29

you , spitting some wisdom , and

52:32

if you guys like this episode , I'm going to be so honest

52:34

. I love hearing from you guys . It genuinely

52:37

makes my life so happy . No-transcript

52:48

. Upload it to Instagram . Tag me , let

52:50

me know what your biggest takeaway is and if

52:53

I can support you in your stillness , if I

52:55

can support you in your journey , just having

52:57

that closeness with yourself . Like please , let

52:59

me know , because I check back into

53:01

you guys and our messages frequently

53:04

. I freaking got you .