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Karen Gimnig & Paul Tevis
Employing DifferencesEpisodes
Karen Gimnig & Paul Tevis
Employing Differences
A weekly Business podcast
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Episodes of Employing Differences
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"We shouldn't expect that things will always go perfectly, that we will never fail to deliver on our obligations. The need to repair trust isn't a sign that this is a broken, dysfunctional relationship. It's normal, it's just unfortunate."Karen
"The way you share bad news has an impact on the relationship; on that space between; in that collaborative space. So we want to explore today ways that you can share that bad news in a way that works; in a way that maybe avoids some of the thi
"How relevant is it to them in terms of their decision-making? What sort of agency are they gonna have when this comes out? Because if it's something that's uncertain, that they can't actually do anything about, and they're just gonna stew on i
"Sometimes there are actual consequences that do need to go along when things go wrong, but it's far less often than we actually seem to think when somebody is saying there needs to be more accountability." Paul & Karen discuss what do to when
"The statement 'We need more accountability' usually comes up when we've deviated in some way from our perfect idea of how we're going to work together. Which is to say, we start with this shared understanding of what it is we're all each indiv
"For this particular decision, how aligned do we all need to be around it in order for the decision to be effective? In order for the idea that we're trying to move forward to really move into reality? Because that threshold of alignment varies
"That's where the actual solutions to your complex problems are: in the things that we disagree about, that we want to run away from because other people's ideas or perspectives are so different from the ones that we have. We can't just look at
"Whatever that thing is, we're bringing our own flavor to it, and we don't realize that we're painting it. A lot of that flavor painting is unconscious. And so it's not that I think I'm sneaking my way in, or you think you're sneaking your way
"We often say, 'Who's willing to do this?' And we wait awkwardly for someone to raise their hand. Willingness matters, but it is not the only concern that we have." Karen & Paul share techniques and advice for filling roles within a group.
"I don't get to decide that for the group. I set prompts that might be deeper or shallower. I set structures that facilitate depth. Some of them foster depth, and some of them don't as much. So I do make choices about how deep we're going to go
"It's very difficult for me to assess for other people, 'Is this a space where it is safe for them to take risks?' Because they may have very different risk profiles and very different things that make things dangerous. And they may have much m
"We are assuming that no one wants to be a controlling boss or to use the structural power that they have in a way that would cause someone else to feel controlling or that would diminish somebody else's agency to speak or do their job or say t
"There is a whole range of what transparency means. There's a range of ways we might achieve it. And we want to be thoughtful about who needs the information and how much of the information they need."Karen & Paul discuss how the benefits – and
"Those moments of conflict in those types of relationships are precisely the moments where we have the opportunity to learn and grow individually and as a part of that relationship. We get to make a choice about whether or not we want to do tha
"With a simple decision, the math says we should do this, and somebody else is going, 'But how could you possibly?'" Karen & Paul talk about how the logical and emotional parts of our decision-making can show up when we collaborate.
"We sometimes can fall into the trap of thinking that we can work with anyone, and that we can fix every situation. That if we just use the right words, if we approach things in the right way, that we can always make things better. And our expe
"There's no one answer to this. It depends on the situation. What we really want to dig into is understanding what our options are – being able to see what's going on in these situations so that we can make good choices about it."Karen & Paul t
"You and I continue to explore this space because we're continually learning. There is no end goal for figuring all of this stuff out. There is just getting even better at exploring that collaborative space that lives between individuals."Paul
"If my goal is to change somebody else's behavior, I'm very unlikely to be successful. But if my goal is to make the relationship better and to change what I can change about what's going on with me, and how I'm engaging, and how I'm sharing in
"We can never really know what's going on with the other person. We're almost always guessing at them. And the question is whether or not the guesses we're making are helpful or not. Does it feel certain? Does it feel like I have absolved mysel
"The place I want to start is recognizing, 'What's my pattern?' Do I always start with a question? Do I always start by saying, 'What do you think we should do?' Or do I always start with, 'Here's what I think we should do.'? If you're always d
"One of the most important things that you can have as a group is an understanding of how you want to repair things when things go wrong, because things always will. We can talk about how we want to work together. We can talk about what we want
"An actual written document or policy or proposal is a concrete thing that I can say yes or no to. I can say, 'I like this part, I don't like that part.' And it requires a fair amount of editing – of making it crisp and clear – so that we are a
"How do you do something other than just the tag team approach? For me, that's really all about designing the partnership. If we're going to partner on facilitating this meeting, what does that look like? And one way that that partnership can b
"Asking about how bad it is can help us to notice when we're digging in our heels in a situation where the conflict that we're going to need to go through to get to our 'better solution' isn't going to be worth it."Karen & Paul discuss assessin
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