In an episode that goes on almost as long as the movie, we explore Guillermo Del Toro's Disney fanfic where Alice and Loke are pursued through the Haunted Mansion ride by the lady who turned down the role of Wasp in Ant-Man for being too love-i

Episode 25: Mortal Kombat

Oct 16th, 2021 1h 30m

We're BACK and bringing you 1995's "Mortal Kombat," a film Roger Ebert said he "wouldn't go so far as to recommend." Join us as we dissect the film's many subtle themes, such as kicking, and, like, punching.

Episode 24: Thir13en Ghosts

May 14th, 2021 1h 37m

We cover what may very well be THE LOUDEST MOVIE UNTIL MICHAEL BAY'S TRANSFORMERS FRANCHISE CAME ALONG, a cheesy remake of a cheesy 60s cheesefest: Thir13en Ghosts, in which a math professor fails to notice that his teenage daughter is actually

Episode 23: Hobbs & Shaw

Apr 1st, 2021 1h 36m

Now let us never speak of Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw ever again.

Episode 22: The Shining

Mar 3rd, 2021 1h 28m

Stanley Kubrick's 1980 classic "The Shining" marks the second film we've watched that was probably at least partially made as an excuse for the filmmakers to dick around in a cool hotel for a couple of weeks. Amy complains a fair bit about the

Episode 21: The NeverEnding Story

Feb 11th, 2021 1h 20m

Amy has us revisit a childhood classic for many an 80s youth: The NeverEnding Story. Yes, that's how it's written, with the capital E in the middle. Shut up. Let's take a trip down memory lane and see if we can't figure out why online therapy i

Episode 20: Fantastic Planet

Jan 25th, 2021 56m 20s

Our first foray into foreign films (say that six times fast) mostly involves Amy sighing in frustration as she is subjected to an animated 70s sci-fi film that is presumably a complex allegory about power dynamics but is like 85% tits and sex.

Episode 19: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Jan 11th, 2021 1h 18m

We start 2021 off with the movie it deserves, one about idiots failing history and a world in desperate need of a time machine. Thankfully, the lovable Bill and Ted are here to make it not as terrible, since they're cute, so there's that. Amy p

Episode 18: Bram Stoker's Dracula

Dec 8th, 2020 1h 7m

We discuss the OG - Bram Stoker's Dracula. Francis Ford Coppola made the ultimate 90s "sexy" version of the tale, where everyone is breathing heavily, sniffing each other, and absolutely thirsty AF. Join us for the film that only needed a bunch

Episode 17: The Mummy (1999)

Nov 17th, 2020 1h 8m

In this episode we learn that Amy’s definition of “horror movie” is “anything that has bugs in it,” as she chooses the 1999 decidedly NON-horror re-make of “The Mummy” for her scary movie. If you look real hard, you might see a smear of blood o

Episode 16: The Umbrella Academy Pt 2

Oct 26th, 2020 1h 44m

We’re back, y’all, and we saved the sad state of Lindsay’s mic set up so we can watch a bunch of lovable rascals save the world (spoiler alert, they do not.) Grab a box of donuts and your favorite mannequin companion and join us for the conclus

Episode 15: The Umbrella Academy Pt 1

Oct 12th, 2020 1h 15m

It's our 15th episode anniversary and watch out, because the sound quality on Lindsay's mic drops HARD halfway through this ep and never recovers. If you can get past that, though, we're discussing the first season of Netflix's adaptation of "T

Episode 14: The Witches

Sep 21st, 2020 1h 5m

Your childhood may have been shitty, but at least *your* grandmother didn’t neglect you to the point where a convention (covens are SO 17th century) of super obvious witches turns you into a mouse while she’s passed out under a cloud of cigar s

Episode 13: The Rundown

Sep 7th, 2020 1h 8m

Amy inflicts a WWE-backed “The Rock”-starring bro-dude action comedy? (debatable) on us which Roger Ebert gave three-and-a-half stars, possibly for not being a total flaming trash heap like the director’s first movie. Sean William Scott co-star

Episode 12: Identity

Aug 25th, 2020 1h 4m

We discuss the 2003 murder-mystery murder-thon “Identity” not to be confused with some other murder-mystery murder-thon called “Identity,” and - trust me - Lindsay waffles for like a solid three minutes on whether or not there’s another movie c

Episode 11: X-Men: Days of Future Past

Aug 9th, 2020 1h 16m

Let two fake geek girls who TOTALLY DIDN’T EVEN READ THE COMICS guide you through what Time magazine names as the 4th best X-Men movie, ranking just below "Deadpool" (yes that counts, shut up!) Spoiler alert: This movie doesn’t actually follow

Episode 10: The Greatest Showman

Jul 24th, 2020 1h 8m

This week, Lindsay makes herself sad by doing a cursory internet search on P. T. Barnum, while Amy enjoys the sexy men in their tailored silk overcoats tap dancing on the bar counter as God intended. Join us as we watch Hugh Jackman’s brave sea

Episode 9: Timeline

Jul 15th, 2020 1h 6m

What to you get when you cross 2 Scottish archeologists, 4 dead time-travelling assassins, 3 British bad guys, 2 panicky lab geeks, 1 bland surfer dude and 1 1/4 boring romance side plots? Ugh, is this going to be on the final? As politely as p

Episode 8: The Cell

Jun 27th, 2020 1h 7m

If you’re feeling maybe your life is a little too cheerful and sane, why not join J.Lo down the Wonka Tunnel of perversion and violence that is “The Cell.” College-age Lindsay would have you know this is not trash, it is ART, but Amy from 20 y

Episode 7: Venom

Jun 16th, 2020 1h 8m

We go back to a simpler time, when a movie featuring Tom Hardy, covered in sweat, downing an entire bag of frozen tater tots and then projectile vomiting on camera seemed like a good idea. With a blink-and-you'll-miss-most-of-it pace and a main

Episode 6: Return to Oz

May 29th, 2020 54m 25s

Following in the footsteps of such mid-80s Disney delights as “Something Wicked This Way Comes,” “The Black Cauldron,” “The Watcher in the Woods,” and holy shit Disney was in a dark place… we bring you “Return to Oz.” After Dorothy’s first magi

Episode 5: The Last Starfighter

May 15th, 2020 55m 1s

Greetings, Starfighter. You have been chosen to slog through the 80s movie equivalent of a big plastic bag of off-brand breakfast cereal! why, you may ask? Because you possess certain skills-I'm kidding, of course! We're watching this because 3

Episode 4: The Fly

May 1st, 2020 56m 40s

Jeff Goldblum stars as Jeff Goldblum at his most Jeff Goldblumiest in David Cronenberg's 1986 version of "The Fly". The housefly-Jeff Goldblum hybrid monster doesn't just chew the scenery, he vomits all over it and sucks it back up. Amy had to

Episode 3: Jurassic World

Apr 13th, 2020 1h 9m

We take on Jurassic World, a terrifying hybrid creature that’s part disaster film, part morality play about a woman who refuses to have babies AND MUST BE ADMONISHED! Taking full advantage of the fact that Disney made Chris Pratt lose 70 pounds

Episode 1: The Pirate Movie

Mar 27th, 2020 1h 9m

You kids today with your Riverdales and your Marvel Universes . . . Back in the 80s, our formative years were shaped by sex-romp versions of hundred-year-old comedy operas starring very, very tan men and Golden Razzie-Award nominee Kristy McNic