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1:05

Hello, and welcome to Happier a podcast

1:07

where we talk about strategies, insight, and

1:09

hacks about how to create Happier

1:11

lives This week is episode

1:14

four ten, which means that it is

1:16

a very special episode. And in

1:18

honor of the New Year, when so many people are

1:20

thinking about how to work on their habits, we

1:23

will talk about the top tools

1:25

for habit change. I

1:38

Richard Rubin, a writer who studies happiness,

1:40

good habits. The four tendencies, the five

1:43

senses, and human nature. I am

1:45

in Kansas City, my beloved hometown,

1:47

Elizabeth. I wish you were here. And joining

1:49

me today from LA. Not Casey

1:52

is my sister, Elizabeth Kraft. Season

1:54

two premier Fantasy Island airs January

1:57

second. I am so excited. Yes.

1:59

That is me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV

2:01

writer and producer living in LA. And

2:03

yet, Gretz everyone can catch up on

2:05

season one at Fantasy Island on

2:07

Hulu. It's a perfect

2:09

winter escape binge as we

2:12

like to say --

2:12

Yeah. -- and then watch the premier

2:15

on January second, and I'm so excited.

2:17

Cheryl Hines and Rachel Harris are

2:19

guest stars in the first episode so It

2:21

was so fantastic. You keep

2:23

dropping all these hints, but mine just closed

2:26

all the big plot points and

2:27

stuff, so I'm gonna be excited to watch with

2:29

everybody else. Before we

2:32

jump in, we got the most fun

2:34

update about our

2:36

one word themes for the

2:37

year. This comes from Hannah, listener

2:39

in Sweden, she says, in Swedish, your

2:42

choice of words, scale, and wave

2:44

is the same word. The

2:46

word for the subject scale and object

2:49

used for scaling groceries for example

2:51

is vogue and the word for

2:53

wave waves in the ocean is also

2:56

vogue. Amazing, and

2:58

in some way magical, I think

3:00

that you sisters pick sister

3:02

words like

3:03

that. I had to pause the list thing of

3:05

the episode to email you immediately.

3:08

How cool is that? But I know

3:09

Elizabeth, we are one word themes

3:12

match up. And the funny thing is we are a Swedish

3:14

descent. And so -- Yes. -- if we identify

3:17

with anything, we identify Swedish, and so

3:19

it's particularly satisfying that

3:22

this coincidence happened in Swedish

3:24

so fun.

3:25

Very cool. Thank you, Hannah, for

3:27

letting us know. And

3:28

now for our very special episode, we will

3:30

review some of the top tools for Habitat change.

3:32

Now, you can change your habits

3:34

at any time. Of course, I know the

3:36

questioners out there are like January first

3:38

is an arbitrary date. it

3:41

is often useful to use a clean

3:43

slate as a catalyst for change,

3:45

or you just need something to remind

3:47

you to step back and reflect think about what changes

3:49

you want to make your life. And for a lot of people,

3:51

that's January first. But

3:54

while there is the phrase, new

3:55

year, new year, It's really New

3:58

Year Saving You.

3:59

Right. Unfortunately, you can have better tools.

4:03

So in my book, better than before, obviously,

4:05

I talk about the twenty one strategies we

4:08

can use to change our habits, and I talk about

4:10

tons of different tools that people use.

4:13

And the reason that this matters is

4:15

that research shows that about forty percent

4:17

of everyday life is shaped by

4:19

habits. So if we have habits that work for

4:21

us, it's a lot easier to be happier, healthier,

4:24

more productive, and more creative. So

4:26

it can be useful to think about some of

4:28

the most popular tools because some of the tools work

4:30

really well for some people, but up for others. Some

4:32

work at sometimes in their lives and up for other time

4:35

in their lives. And then some are, like, pretty

4:37

widely useful we thought we talked

4:39

about these. These are also tools that are part of the Happier

4:41

app. So if you're using the Happier app, if you're

4:43

thinking about using the Happier app, these are tools that

4:46

are part of that. Because they really

4:48

do end up being some of the

4:50

ones that seem to work for the most

4:52

people most of the time.

4:54

Yes. And people like different

4:56

approaches, scratch. Some people

4:59

like that don't break the

5:00

chain. You can go through all the different

5:02

approaches. Right? And so one thing to remember

5:04

is if something isn't working for you,

5:06

try something new. Don't blame yourself. I think a

5:08

lot of times people get discouraged and they're like, well, what's

5:11

my problem? Why can't I use to do list. Why

5:13

can't I just put something on the calendar? Why can't I

5:15

just sign up for class? Why does that not work for

5:17

me? A lot of times, it's like, there's nothing wrong with

5:19

you. It's just that you need to try different tools.

5:21

So as you're thinking about these tools,

5:23

think about, well, have I tried some

5:25

unsuccessfully in the past, so maybe I'll try something

5:27

new? Or I've used one of these tools

5:30

with great success in the past, maybe

5:32

now I can try it with a different aim

5:34

because these tools can be used for all different aims.

5:36

It just depends on what you

5:38

want. Yeah. And it is often helpful

5:40

to think about what has or hasn't worked in the

5:42

past.

5:42

Speaking of my word, scale Gretchen,

5:44

I know in the past when I weigh myself

5:46

every day, I I eat

5:48

better and go in direction I wanna

5:50

go in. And when I don't do

5:52

that, the opposite happens. And

5:54

yet, I have to learn that lesson

5:56

over and over again. Which is why

5:59

one reason why scale is my word

6:01

and why it's using the happier

6:02

app. Right. Well, and it also

6:05

helps know your tendency. Yeah. Because

6:07

if you know your tendency, then you can

6:09

choose wisely from among the tools because you're

6:11

like, well, this is the kind of tool that probably

6:13

work for me as anupholder questioner,

6:16

brighter rebel, or you might

6:18

reframe a tool in a way

6:20

that makes it more attractive. To

6:22

your Tennessee. So again, if people don't

6:25

know what we're talking about with the four tendencies, you can

6:27

take the quiz. Go to gretchen rubin dot com

6:29

slash quiz. It's free.

6:31

More than three and a half million people have taken the quiz,

6:33

and it will give you a little report. And

6:36

as we talk about the tools, we can talk about

6:38

whether different tendencies might be

6:40

particularly attracted to certain

6:42

tools. Yeah. So let's do talk

6:44

about don't break the chain, which I just

6:46

mentioned, because that is a huge

6:48

tool, I think, for obligers. Which

6:50

I am. Yes. So it turns out don't

6:52

break the chain is super popular.

6:55

In the Happier app, it's the most popular

6:57

tool or one of the top two most popular tools.

7:00

I have the don't break the chain journal for people

7:02

who like to keep things on paper. That's

7:04

super popular too. Because like you say, Elizabeth,

7:06

it works really well for obligers who

7:08

are able to use it as a form of outer accountability.

7:11

Some obligers really need outer accountability from

7:13

an actual person, but many

7:15

obligers are like you where there

7:17

can be a process or

7:19

kind of a visible outcome that itself

7:22

creates sense of accountability because it's like, I

7:24

don't wanna be confronted with the fact that I'm

7:26

not sticking to

7:26

it. And so it creates the accountability. Yeah,

7:29

Gretchen. I have to tell you I'm using

7:31

the don't break the shade in the app

7:33

and the journal. I'm I have a double

7:36

just -- Yeah. -- to make sure that I'm

7:38

monitoring

7:39

myself. And then also, you get that feeling

7:41

of satisfaction too because you're getting

7:44

to -- Yeah. -- checkmarks

7:45

of, like, I'm doing it here. I'm doing it there to

7:47

to growing to Dallas. It's great. Yes.

7:50

No. Exactly. And you know I was thinking

7:52

about was don't break the chain is I wonder

7:54

if that's part of why Hirtle is

7:56

so popular. We've talked about Hirtle,

7:58

which is the -- Yeah. -- the game where you have

8:01

six chances to guess a word

8:03

and they keep track of how many days

8:05

in a row you can go. Yeah. I'm like, I

8:07

know. Oh my highest streak is eighty

8:09

two, and I never wanna stop my

8:11

streak so it keeps me playing every day.

8:13

Yeah. I mean, that's the thing is people love streaks.

8:16

It's very once you've got a street

8:18

going, it gets very compelling to

8:20

keep that going. So don't break the chain.

8:22

It's a tool that many, many people

8:24

find to be really useful. I mean, one thing

8:26

I would say about don't break the chain is you just wanna

8:29

keep in mind that what we do most days matters

8:31

more than what we do once in a while. And

8:33

so if occasionally you have to, like,

8:35

take a break or take a day off, don't make

8:37

that feel so catastrophic that then

8:39

that discourages you from starting

8:41

up again because you're like, oh, no. Now I'm all

8:43

the way back at one because the real point

8:45

of it is to do something most

8:47

days. And so you don't wanna let don't break

8:50

the chain, actually get

8:52

in the way. I have seen some people get

8:54

so invested in it. That

8:56

it becomes sort of unhelpfully painful.

8:59

Well, that's like YouBetter, you go to the vet

9:01

every day -- Yeah. -- and you being an upholger

9:03

I know you could get very focused on

9:06

I must go no matter what. Well, and

9:08

the thing is it's like if I fly that

9:10

day -- Mhmm. -- okay, I could race

9:12

over there and just

9:14

get in right before it closes because of

9:16

when my plane lands. I'm like, you know what I'm just

9:18

gonna say, I was traveling from out of town

9:20

today this counts as a travel day as an out

9:22

of town day. Right. And I had to make those kind of rules

9:24

for myself as an upholder. You're exactly right.

9:27

Okay. Now another extremely

9:29

popular tool. It's interesting using the app because

9:32

you see what people actually do. So

9:34

this is kind of like good scientific research.

9:37

People love a numbers tracker. You

9:39

know, you could log steps. You could log

9:42

minutes. It is a super popular

9:44

tool, and it functions to do a lot of things. You see

9:46

all the days you've done something, so it gives you

9:48

that reinforcement. So, like, let's

9:50

say you're doing go outside twenty three and twenty three. You

9:52

would see every day you log twenty three minutes

9:54

outside. Mhmm. And so it could maybe show

9:56

you patterns and give you

9:58

that that sense of reinforcement

10:00

because, like, I did it. I did it. I did it.

10:02

I love this with steps because I remember

10:04

when Sarah and I first got our treadmill

10:06

desk, which was your greatest gift to me

10:08

ever. We log steps

10:11

to the moon. Yeah. For that,

10:13

hang on because we'll talk about another tool

10:16

that helps with

10:16

that. Kind of thing.

10:17

Oh, great. So

10:18

the numbers tracker, you're tracking that you did

10:20

like your twenty three minutes that day.

10:22

Uh-huh. So

10:23

that's good if you're doing it that way.

10:25

But hang on to that because there's a tool for

10:27

that as well. Oh, great. I can't wait to hear

10:29

about that. Alright. Coming up more

10:31

tools, but first display.

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of the ways it does that is with a compatibility quiz

12:01

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12:05

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12:17

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12:19

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12:21

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12:24

Yeah. I mean, we all know that when you're

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you. So Gretchen,

12:41

okay, track your total. That is

12:43

I was just talking

12:44

about, like, tracking

12:45

your Walk to the moon. Explain how

12:47

this works. So track your total as if

12:49

you wanna see numbers adding up over time.

12:51

So it's not just like, oh, I wrote fifteen

12:53

hundred words today. It's fifteen hundred,

12:55

three thousand, and you're seeing it build up whether

12:57

that's miles or minutes or words or whatever

13:00

it is. So this is a growing heap

13:02

where it's not just like, what did I do day by day,

13:04

but how is it growing? And think for

13:06

people who do, like, things like, I've walked from

13:08

New York City to Boston or I've gone

13:10

to the moon, that can be very

13:12

exciting. I think for some people, the numbers can

13:14

get so big that they're just sort of imaginary, and

13:16

you don't feel like the numbers changing. So they

13:19

like seeing that day by day logging,

13:21

but then some people really like to see the numbers

13:23

mount up. So again, this is something

13:25

where it's essentially the same

13:28

thing. It's the same process, but

13:31

it's reframing it in a way that might

13:33

make it more or less useful to you or

13:35

attractive to you. So again, it's well, what appeals to your

13:37

imagination? Because one of the things that's

13:39

really surprised me in the study of habits and just

13:41

generally and listen, we talk about reframing

13:43

all the time, is like, subtle changes

13:46

can make a difference. Several language

13:49

changes. Like, are you gonna practice piano or

13:51

are you gonna play piano? Mhmm. Can end

13:53

up making a big difference. And so the way

13:55

that the numbers are presented might

13:57

make something more accessible

14:00

or exciting or imaginative or

14:02

fulfilling for you. And so it's

14:04

just like don't just assume that,

14:07

oh, this is how people do it. It's like, okay,

14:09

you questioners out there. I know you love customization.

14:12

We all do, but especially questioners think

14:14

about, well, how do I wanna tee this

14:16

up in a way that's right for me? And

14:18

that, like, back to don't break the chain, you might say,

14:20

well, how could a rebel use don't break the chain? It

14:23

literally has chain in the title.

14:25

And if rebels don't like anything, they don't like

14:27

feeling chain, or controlled or

14:30

limited, but you could say, but they love a challenge,

14:32

they love to prove, they love to show their identity.

14:34

And if you're like, hey, People think I can't

14:36

go outside every day for twenty three minutes

14:38

and twenty twenty three will all show them,

14:41

you know, I wanna show you the kind of environmentalist

14:43

I am or like, you know, how the kind of outdoor

14:46

person I am or whatever it might be,

14:48

then they find that very exciting and satisfying

14:50

because it's like, okay, I'm gonna show you, here's

14:52

the challenge. I'm gonna meet that challenge to

14:55

do something every day. So again, for

14:57

an obliger, it could be the accountability. Whereas for

14:59

the rebel, it's the challenge and the proof of the

15:01

identity same tool,

15:03

but it's framed in a way that makes it

15:05

appealing to different

15:06

people. So different people come to it with different

15:09

frame of mind.

15:09

Yes. I am a huge fan of

15:11

reframing as you know.

15:13

Yes. You are. You're always good at reframing.

15:15

Okay,

15:15

Gretchen. We'll talk about the one sentence journal.

15:18

The one sentence journal is a very

15:20

exciting tool. I think this is a very

15:22

satisfying tool. This is

15:24

really good for memorialized I think,

15:26

and which is kind of outside the four tendencies. But

15:28

for people who wanna put a little

15:31

color on what they're doing, So

15:33

if you wanna record details

15:35

about some habit that you're working on, like

15:38

maybe you're trying to hike all the

15:40

time, so you're gonna write what trail

15:42

you were on. So it's like, I did this

15:44

one so many times and I tried these new

15:46

ones. Maybe it's recipes you've tried.

15:48

Did you like them? Did you not like them? Maybe it's

15:50

books you've read. And what I like about the

15:52

one sentence journalist, first of all, it helps you identify

15:55

patterns. It can make it more exciting

15:57

because you're you are adding that layer of detail

15:59

And then it also can be a keepsake. You

16:02

know, like, I have a one sentence journal, physical

16:04

one too. It's in the app, the one

16:06

sentence journal, but there's also a physical one sentence

16:08

journal. And this is something where, let's

16:10

say, your habit was that you wanted to read

16:12

aloud to your children every night before bed.

16:15

Then you could have a record of

16:17

all the days you read and what you were reading

16:19

at the time. Well, over the years, I

16:21

would love to have a record of what

16:23

I read to Liza and Eleanor when they were little.

16:26

Because now, like, the elder said to me, oh,

16:28

yeah, you read little women to me when I was little and

16:30

I was like, are you kidding? I must have taken,

16:32

like, how many months did that take? That is

16:34

a long book. I have no recollection of that

16:36

whatsoever. I would love to be able to slip

16:38

through a journal and see it. And think for many

16:40

people, it kinda gives you more of feeling

16:42

of credit or more of feeling of logging something.

16:45

So if they open the app and they write down

16:47

what hike they took, it

16:49

sort of feels more real in

16:51

a way -- Yeah. -- we're more satisfying. I think

16:53

it's against the

16:54

tada

16:55

of it all. Yes. It's the tada.

16:58

It's a hundred percent it feels like

17:00

more of I'm getting credit for

17:02

this. Look at what I did. I have the sense

17:04

of accomplishment. Yeah. I can look back on

17:06

this. I think that's absolutely

17:07

right. So again, it's like, do you want it in

17:10

the convenience of an app? Do you like the physical

17:12

thing of a journal? Do you

17:13

wanna do both? I even think Gretch

17:16

taking the moment to write the sentence

17:18

is a moment of mindfulness --

17:20

Yeah. -- just

17:20

taking a moment for yourself -- Yes.

17:23

-- like checking in with yourself.

17:25

Hundred percent Which I think is something from

17:27

what I hear from listeners. A

17:29

lot of people don't do -- Yes. --

17:31

want to

17:31

do. Absolutely. I think that's an excellent excellent

17:33

point. And it's something to really think

17:36

about. Like, this is my moment of mindful

17:38

reflection on what I've done. I think that's a great

17:40

point. Yes, absolutely. So

17:42

if you say that the one sentence journal takes a

17:44

tiny bit more effort because you gotta figure out what

17:46

you're gonna say, the photo log

17:48

This is the one that is so

17:50

easy. Is this is like you just snap that

17:53

photo. It's easy and it feels creative,

17:55

you know. There's something about taking a photo that feels

17:57

creative and 410. And it's fast.

17:59

Now that we all have our phones with us all the time,

18:01

it's a great way to create a visual record of

18:03

what you're

18:04

doing. Yeah.

18:04

And so is that something you can do in the app?

18:07

Yes. You can do that in the app. So

18:09

it's a different way to keep a streak or

18:11

record a journal, but it's in a photo form.

18:13

So let's say you were trying to do go outside twenty

18:16

three and twenty three, You could do it that and

18:18

don't break the chain. You could do that in the one sentence

18:20

journal, but you could also do, like, I'm gonna look

18:22

for a beautiful tree and take a photo of it

18:24

every time I go side. Yes. I was like, I'm gonna take

18:26

a picture of the same thing and watch it change over

18:28

the year. Or I'm gonna look for, like,

18:30

what's the most interesting thing I can take a photograph

18:33

of? So kind of a quest is more

18:35

interesting than a giant. And so maybe

18:37

look at the thing like, oh, what thing am I gonna take

18:39

a picture of? Could make your time

18:41

outside? More engaging and interesting.

18:44

I think for a lot of people, this is fun.

18:46

Yeah. So I should take a picture every time

18:48

I'm at the top of Fryman Canyon. Yeah.

18:51

Right.

18:51

Because it'd be so encouraging

18:52

me to go more often. Well, no. Why'd

18:54

encourage you to go more often? Because you have that feeling

18:56

of, like, oh, it's back to this idea of the radar. Like,

18:58

oh, I'm excited to see what it looks like. It's

19:00

sort of memorializing it, and then you

19:02

have that record. And for many people that

19:05

can be accountability because it's like, oh, I need to take

19:07

my photo. But one of the things when I do

19:09

at the Met is I take a picture at the Met every time.

19:11

Oh. And that's done because I'm like, am I gonna

19:13

take it inside? Am I gonna take it outside? Am

19:15

I gonna take this picture? Am I gonna take that picture?

19:17

Sometimes I'll take many pictures, but then

19:20

I always decide what's my real picture

19:22

of the day? What's the one I'm gonna put

19:24

into the app? Because I pick it from the gallery,

19:26

so I might be like, I could take picture of

19:28

the floral arrangement. I might take a picture of something

19:30

from a new exhibit. I might take a picture of

19:33

like, oh, it's the holiday tree

19:35

or whatever or something in the gift shop, whatever

19:37

it might be. And so I sort of had that

19:39

fun of what is

19:41

the name of that pleasure. It's the pleasure of

19:43

deciding what is the best thing that you're

19:46

that's just fun for

19:47

me. It makes it a fun little quest.

19:49

Oh, good. Well, yeah, I like the idea of being able

19:51

to have a group of photos together

19:53

that go together rather than just

19:55

Right. Splattered on your phone.

19:58

It's a record. Okay. And now we gotta

20:00

talk about one of the biggest

20:02

most important Well, this is directly

20:05

aimed at accountability. This

20:07

is accountability partners. Now,

20:09

because as we say all the time, if you are

20:11

an obliger, what you need to

20:13

meet an inner expectation is outer accountability.

20:15

And there's so many ways to create outer accountability.

20:18

We've already talked about some things that can

20:20

work as outer accountability. Something like don't

20:22

break the chain or the one sentence at all. That can

20:24

function as accountability. But for

20:26

some obligers, they need a person

20:29

They need somebody who's got like

20:31

my eyes on you. Nothing

20:33

else will do. And for them in the app,

20:35

but you don't have to use the app. Obviously, you can create

20:38

your own system for this in the world, but you just

20:40

need a way of checking in with other

20:41

people. You need a way to check-in with

20:43

your accountability partners. Yes,

20:46

Gretchen. I did this successfully, like

20:48

with my friend Amanda, where we texted

20:51

each other every time we got to ten thousand

20:53

steps. Yep. And you

20:55

know what? We fell off doing it, and

20:57

guess what happens.

20:58

Well, okay. I stopped doing

21:01

ten thousand steps a lot of days. So

21:03

I think I need to see if she wants

21:05

to reengage with this. Because like you said

21:07

earlier, like, if you see

21:09

what worked in the past, try it again --

21:11

Yeah. -- that worked for me beautifully. I think

21:13

it worked really well for her too.

21:16

So I think I need to do that

21:18

again. Okay. And you've just made a really

21:20

important point, which I think is worth underscoring,

21:22

which is sometimes people think to themselves.

21:25

Well, I'm using this tool and it works

21:27

really well for me So naturally,

21:30

I will keep using this tool because why

21:32

would I stop using a tool that works

21:34

really well? Well, because

21:36

even if it's just snapping a photo, whatever

21:38

it is, it takes a little bit of effort, and

21:41

it probably means that there's something that you're doing

21:43

that is effortful itself. And so there

21:45

may be part of you that's looking for those loop pulls

21:47

to get you off. So the fact that something is working

21:49

really well does not mean that you will

21:51

necessarily continue without a little

21:54

bit of reminding yourself to stick with it and a

21:56

little bit of effort. And that's one of the things

21:58

about accountability partners is you really have to

22:00

hold each other accountable because if

22:02

neither person is saying to the other one,

22:04

hey, you're not doing it, then both people

22:06

or however many people are in your group will

22:09

stop doing it. And you all agree

22:11

that you all wanna be doing it. So I'm doing

22:13

it for myself, but just as much I'm doing it for you.

22:15

Because if I don't do it, you won't do it.

22:17

I want you to do it because I know that's what you

22:19

want for yourself. So it's

22:20

that infinity mirror of obligers and

22:23

accountability. And it was so motivating,

22:25

like, text each other at five and then

22:27

ten. That's supposed to she got to five,

22:29

I'm

22:29

like, oh, I need to get to five. Yeah. You know,

22:31

I'm behind and I get on my treadmill desk

22:33

and get to five. Yeah. Yeah. So in the

22:35

app, it's really easy. Like, if it's a friend

22:38

or a family member or a coach or a

22:40

group or what you wanna post it on social media

22:42

however you wanna do it, it works really well. But

22:44

as you say, you don't have to use the app. You can set

22:46

this up in lot of different ways. And,

22:48

you know, the more you stick to it, the more accountability it

22:51

provides. But if you are an obliger,

22:54

however you do it, don't think about

22:56

self care or priorities or making time

22:58

for yourself or what do you really want? Say to yourself,

23:00

if I want this, I need to create out our accountability.

23:03

That's what work. And then kind of along the

23:05

same lines is notifications, which

23:07

is you can set up a notification to remind

23:09

you to work through your dream. Because Elizabeth,

23:11

like you said, when you would see that Amanda was

23:13

five thousand. That was kind of a notification. Like,

23:15

you gotta get onto it. Yes. But

23:17

the other reason that I find that notifications work

23:20

really well is, you know, as if you and I were talking

23:22

about rest twenty two and twenty two. Mhmm.

23:24

I was napping. Mhmm. But the way

23:26

I was napping is I was napping opportunistically,

23:29

which means I had the habit of napping

23:32

when my day permitted me to nap.

23:34

This is hard for an upholder and

23:36

for me because I'm an all or nothing

23:37

person. Sent.

23:38

Yeah. But the thing is I just couldn't nap every

23:40

day because my schedules to bunkers

23:43

Yeah. -- Sundays, I can't do it. So I had to

23:45

just do it when I could do it. And

23:47

the looseness of that was a challenge for me as a

23:49

porter. thought that's a good. I'll stretch myself. I

23:51

don't I I can have a kind of habit that's

23:53

opportunistically. But some days, I would

23:55

have had the opportunity, but I just forgot

23:57

about it. Right. But then I set up the notification

23:59

to my phone at one because

24:02

I never napped before one because I'm like,

24:04

I just got up. And I don't wanna nap

24:06

too late because then it might interfere with me going

24:08

to sleep. So it's like, I really wanna think

24:11

about it in that afternoon period. And I

24:13

found that once I set up a notification, like,

24:15

hey, Gretchen, take an app, that helped

24:17

me remember to look for

24:19

the opportunity to take the

24:20

nap. And then I did a much better job of it.

24:22

Yes. Again, it it's almost like scheduling,

24:25

right,

24:25

at me hundred percent. A hundred percent. So

24:27

which should we talk about? Things that are scheduled

24:29

tend to happen.

24:30

Yeah. Things you reminded of are more

24:32

likely to happen. Absolutely. Okay.

24:35

Coming up, we're gonna talk about different

24:37

ways to keep the habit of going

24:39

outside twenty three and

24:41

twenty twenty three, but first, this spring.

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and some farm fresh chicken. Easy. Wait.

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25:56

Okay. Listen, everybody is getting geared

25:58

up for go outside twenty three and twenty

26:00

three. Hashtag outside twenty three and twenty

26:02

three. So don't break the chain.

26:04

That's a big one, as we've said, very popular

26:06

tool. Mark every time you go

26:08

outside. Keep that streak going.

26:11

And the numbers tracker again, as you give

26:13

yourself credit twenty three, twenty three, twenty three.

26:16

And again, you don't have to do it all in twenty

26:18

three. Everything counts. You can add it up.

26:20

Maybe it's different parts of the day. But

26:23

once you hit that twenty three, you can track

26:25

that number and get the satisfaction that comes

26:27

from

26:27

that.

26:27

Yeah. And then the one sentence journal, you

26:29

can write about what you saw outside

26:32

in one sentence. Yeah. I'm actually

26:34

very curious to see how people do this

26:36

because I bet they're gonna start keeping track

26:38

and writing in their journal about things that

26:40

we haven't thought

26:41

about. Mhmm. So I'm very curious to hear.

26:43

The photo log. Yes. Scratch, this

26:46

is the one I wanna use for

26:48

go outside twenty three and twenty three,

26:50

the photo log. I feel like that's gonna be the

26:52

most helpful for

26:53

me. Yeah. I think that's the one I'm gonna use

26:55

too. It also makes it fun when you're

26:57

outside to look for that beautiful thing that you wanna

27:00

memorialize. Accountability partners

27:03

I mean, natural. Mhmm. And

27:05

then track your total. Well, I think this

27:07

will be really fun for people because then you could

27:10

see those numbers mount up and be like, oh

27:12

my gosh. I spent however many

27:14

minutes. think I figured it out at one

27:16

point,

27:16

like, how many hours outside it

27:18

would be, and it's a big number. It's

27:20

very satisfying That's so fun.

27:22

Yeah. And then as we were just talking

27:24

about a notification, a reminder

27:27

to go outside so you don't

27:28

forget. Right. And then just a moment

27:31

again about the tenancy. So,upholders probably

27:33

any of these tools work forupholders because they

27:35

are attracted to habits and like these kinds

27:37

of tools. Obligers, we talked about.

27:39

Obligers need outer accountability. So

27:41

you wanna think about how do you get the tool that's gonna

27:44

give you the outer accountability. And obligers

27:46

are different in what kinds of accountability

27:48

work for them. So think about yourself. Questioners,

27:51

think about why is it that you wanna

27:53

keep this habit? Why is this efficient? Why

27:56

is this making you happier, healthier, more productive,

27:58

more creative? Why have you chosen

28:00

the tool that suits you the best?

28:02

Because there's Many reasons that people

28:04

would use these tools, but you're customizing it

28:07

to work for you, to get you the best

28:09

answer for you, And then rebels,

28:11

what feels like the most fun for you? If there's a

28:13

habit that you wanna form because it's part of your identity

28:15

or it's giving you some kind of outcome that you want,

28:18

some kind of freedom, some kind of opportunity. Which

28:20

one? And then what feels like fun? If you're

28:22

like, oh, it'd be fun for me to brag on how many

28:24

hours I spent outside or

28:27

how many hikes I went on or

28:29

how many words I wrote or however

28:31

it would be, just think about what makes

28:33

it fun for you and what satisfies your

28:35

rebel spirit. I'm so excited

28:38

to hear how people adapt these tools

28:40

because I I think it's fascinating. Gretz,

28:42

you're at home. I think you should talk to mom and

28:44

dad and see if you can get them involved

28:46

in this. Oh, yeah. That's a great idea.

28:49

When we were talking about go outside, I thought about

28:51

dad because my father was trying to get me in the

28:53

habit of running, which he did very successfully when

28:55

I was in high school. And he

28:57

said, darling, if the door closes

28:59

behind you, it counts. And

29:02

I think about going outside, it's like,

29:04

If you're outside, whatever you're

29:06

doing, if the door is closed behind you

29:08

and you're outside accounts, I like

29:10

I like that. So let us know if you

29:12

do try this at home, and which of the top

29:14

tools works best for you? Or do you

29:16

prefer a tool that we didn't discuss? Maybe

29:19

there's tool that is a tool that we didn't think

29:21

about. Let us know on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook,

29:23

drop us an email at podcast gretchen rubin

29:25

dot com or go to happier cast

29:27

dot com slash forward ten for

29:29

everything related to this episode. And

29:31

what are the resources, Gretch? Well

29:33

speaking of go outside twenty three and twenty

29:35

three, we would love to see pictures of you

29:38

So send us your pictures on Instagram,

29:40

Facebook, Twitter, especially on the

29:42

first day of the New Year if you're doing it and

29:44

use hashtag outside twenty three and

29:47

twenty three. For a chance to be reposted.

29:49

We love this stuff. Also, if

29:51

you are trying to make or break a habit and

29:53

you want the checklist for habit

29:55

change. To think about all the strategies

29:58

for habit change, we touched on some of them

30:00

in our discussion of the tools. But if you want the

30:03

checklist, you can get that

30:05

at happier cast dot com slash

30:07

checklist. It may be something that

30:09

you're doing for your twenty three and twenty three list. It

30:11

may be go outside twenty three and twenty three.

30:14

That's just like a very handy reference

30:16

if you're working on a on an ambitious habit.

30:19

Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading?

30:22

I'm reading the marriage portrait by

30:24

Maggie O'Farrell. And I'm reading

30:26

notes from a bottle found on the beach

30:28

at Carmel by Evan Cannell.

30:31

And that's it for this episode of Happier.

30:33

Remember to try this at home. Try

30:35

the top tools for habit change and

30:38

try them in the happier

30:39

app. Let us know if you tried them and

30:41

if they work for you. Thank you to our executive

30:44

producer, Chuck Reid and everyone at Kadant

30:46

thirteen. Get in touch Gretchen's on

30:48

Instagram at Gretchen Rubin, and

30:50

I'm at Liz Craft. Or email

30:52

address is podcast at gretchen rubin

30:55

dot

30:55

com. And this week, I'm gonna change it up a little

30:57

bit. I'm gonna ask you to rate this show

30:59

if people are to figure out whether to give

31:01

a podcast to try. They often check to see

31:03

how many ratings it has. I often do that

31:05

myself. So if you just take one second

31:07

and give us a rating, that will help other

31:10

people to discover the show, and we so

31:12

appreciate that. Until next week, I'm

31:14

Elizabeth Kraft, and I'm Gretchen Rubin.

31:16

Thanks for joining us. Onward and

31:18

upward.

31:30

Gretch, have you gone to windsteads

31:33

yet? Oh, you know what we went.

31:35

We had been on the grass. Around in Kansas

31:37

City for three hours before Dad and I went

31:39

over there to pick something up. So --

31:41

Oh. -- we we have I'm

31:43

sure we'll be back. Alright. We'll have a double

31:45

cheeseburger and onion rings for me.

31:48

Yeah.

31:55

From the onward project,