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I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is A Little

2:10

Happier. Several

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years ago, I had a conversation that

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I've never forgotten. I

2:16

was at a party and I ran into

2:18

someone I hadn't seen for a long time. She

2:21

was the mother of a girl in my daughter

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Eliza's nursery school class. I'd always

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really liked her, but while we'd always

2:27

been friendly, we'd never become close friends

2:29

and I hadn't seen her in years.

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So I was really happy to get the chance to catch

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up. She and her family had recently

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been on a skiing trip and she told me

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what a great time they'd had. Do

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you ski, she asked? No,

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I said, it's not my kind of thing. Oh,

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you should try it, she said.

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It's a wonderful activity, especially as

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a family. You're outside in nature,

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it's beautiful, it's great exercise, it's

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a really fun adventure to share.

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I get it, I answered, all that

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sounds terrific. I've tried it, but I'm

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really uncoordinated. So I'm not good at

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that kind of physical activity. I

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really suffer from the cold, so doing things in

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the snow does not appeal to me. Plus

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I dislike having to handle lots of equipment.

3:13

So it's not something that I find appealing.

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It's a relief to me that my husband

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has a bad knee. I don't

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wanna go skiing. Our

3:21

conversation turned to different things and after a

3:23

while, we both started talking to other people.

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And about 30 minutes later, she

3:29

reappeared at my side. I've

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been thinking about what you said, she

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told me in a confiding tone. I

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realized I don't like

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skiing. Just then

3:42

someone interrupted us. So I

3:45

never did get to follow up on her

3:47

disclosure, but I've never

3:49

forgotten it. It's

3:51

fine to join in an activity because other

3:53

people enjoy it. We all do that. It's

3:55

part of family life and group life. I

3:58

think it was Jerry Seinfeld who said. But there's no

4:00

such thing as fun for the whole family. Sometimes

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it can be fun to do something, even if

4:05

you don't actually find it very fun. But

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here's the thing. We want

4:10

to be honest with ourselves. Because

4:13

it's one thing to say, well, I'm bored

4:15

at the playground, but my son enjoys it

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so much, I'll take him. Or

4:19

I don't really like amusement parks myself, but the

4:22

rest of my family loves them, so I'll go

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to enjoy having the day with them. It's

4:27

quite a different thing to convince

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ourselves that we enjoy something that

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we don't actually enjoy. Because

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the risk is that if we convince ourselves

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that we're having fun, but we're really not,

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we may find that life feels more and

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more tedious, and we feel more

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and more drained. But we don't know

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why. We don't realize that

4:48

we're not having any fun. It's

4:51

one of my secrets of adulthood. Just

4:53

because something is fun for someone else doesn't

4:56

mean it's fun for you, and vice

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versa. I'm Gretchen

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Rubin, and I hope this makes your week

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