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the many flavors of that bosses

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out there one of the most common and most

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work , is the insecure of manager

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insecure bosses can be neat the game

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micro managers are paranoid

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metallurgy to make you question your every

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move and if they see you as a threat

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they may even try to damage your

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career if you've ever ever

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you any

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explanation or believe you for

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their success this videos

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for yeah

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so how do you know if you're dealing with an insecure manager

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use some common three overly

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, about what others think they

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can't make a decision more stick with

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the always highly their own expertise

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of credentials sometimes putting down

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others to make themselves feel better they

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require that every decision in

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detail have their approval

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they don't allow their team to interact with

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people from other departments senior

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leaders as attempt to control

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control is so tempting to reach house

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pushback from them or even report

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them to their to is

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likely boss is you

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, your

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life or dark

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my understanding what might be causing

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yourself down let me just say

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for the record a certain amount of self doubt

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is completely normal at times

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we all wonder if we can save nail

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that presentation before if we

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thing for smart insecurity crosses

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over into problematic behavior however

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when people try to conceal are compensated

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for their self doubt they end up resorting

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to the tested i just outlined this

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might surprise you that research shows that

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people in positions of power are

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more prone to feelings of insecurity

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think about it all

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there on that they're under a lot of pressure

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may may fear being outed as incompetence

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or even losing their position of power

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knowing that can help you refrain

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how you see their behavior for example

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you may instinctively think my boss wants

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to destroy my career or my

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manager wants everyone up still have that

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a go deeper do they really

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want to destroy your career that's

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unlikely more likely they're nervous

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about losing their jobs say in an upcoming

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round of layoffs or they think that by

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criticizing you sometimes harshly

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have been to motivate you to perform better which

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will ultimately make them now

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that you have a better sense of their modus let's

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improve the situation here are some

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it remains

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five or under trained it's

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quite possible that dealing with legitimate pressures

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like city near and target or dealing

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with tough clients if causes him to

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take their insecurities out on yeah so

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exercise empathy remains

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he said easier said than done i

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know but here's a tactic that's worked for others

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imagine your boss as a child is completely

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unaware of the harm their costs that

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mental picture helps your

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composure and state here's

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another example if your bosses riley

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new last excuse yourself for a moment

3:20

to take time to compose yourself

3:22

and calm down controlling your anger

3:25

can keep tensions down and allow

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you do your job

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the to frame your work as

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a joint effort instead of competing

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with you're insecure boss protip

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you're probably gonna lose figure out what

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their objective and , spinach

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she's in net net freeman

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things as a joint effort sentences

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with we as much as possible try

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saying things like we've got this or

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it's good that we're in this together and

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when you do succeed share the

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glory don't in any way downplay

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your downplay efforts but highlight

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the partnership acknowledging that your

3:59

the same size can build trust

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and diffuse your bosses insecurity

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tax , signal that you're not

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a threat you want your boss to think of you

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as an ally not arrival it's

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best to do this at the beginning but

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it's never too late to reset the tone of

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your relationship the key is to watch what

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you say and do so they don't

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see you as even more of a threat for example

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seen something as simple as i don't

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understand that can see like a challenge

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to their intelligence even if you're genuinely

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curious what they're thinking a better way

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to say i don't understand that

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may be fully understand you're

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thinking or and set of st

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only doing it this way try seen something

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like you mind sharing your thinking here

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it for flattery there as

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long as it's genuine research on managers

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who feel and confidence has shown

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that flattery genuine flattery really

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help like everyone else your

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boss needs positive feedback to

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many people worry about coming off as citizens

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or suck up i get it if

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compliments are not your thing just

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express appreciation for something they even

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saying thank you preferably in front

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of others can go a long way you

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might think them for giving you a high profile

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projects are making a connection freeland

5:15

another department growing up your

5:17

boss when they're making your life miserable is

5:20

probably the last thing you wanna deal put

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it in your interests it'll increase your influence

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and

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decrease your stress

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acted restore their sense

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of control insecure managers who have trouble

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trusting others often resort to micromanaging

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you can interrupt some of their meddling by

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reassuring them that they're in charge

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your manager may be terrified of been

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out of the list to keep them up to date

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as much as possible in be transparent

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about what you're working on and who you're talking

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to especially to people in other parts

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of the company schedule regular checkups

5:52

to keep us updated on projects

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that they care about make them feel included

5:57

in the process overcoming kitty now

6:00

review the effort of descending yourself another

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sneaky way to make them feel in control

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is to frame your suggestions as question

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research shows that asking questions

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instead of giving answers

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a sense of control and the other person

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suppose questions that start with what

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it or could we invite

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your manager to share their thoughts instead

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of saying something like i think we should

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rule this initiative out and all of our market

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right brain where we rolled this initiative

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out and all of our markets what would that take

6:31

or instead of saying in be

6:34

better if we took a slower approach here you

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could say open your

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idea and tried to slow it down about

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unfortunately, no matter how strategic

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you are, it's unlikely that you're going to

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cure your manager of their insecurities

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and that's not responsibility and

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ultimately is all of these tactics fail,

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you may need to figure out how to set up

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boundaries so you to interact with your boss

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last, here's a quick recap

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don't retaliate or are back try

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to understand what pressures your manager is under

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or what's causing their insecurities

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position yourself as an ally, not

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arrival, genuine

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compliments or express gratitude and

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appreciation, start sentences

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with we much as possible keep

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them updated and be about

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what you're working on and who you're talkin

7:27

with and schedule regular check-ins, where you

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can share progress on projects, your boss cares

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about and make them feel included in

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your work thank you for watching this

7:36

video or taken from my book, getting

7:38

along, how to work with anyone even

7:41

difficult people if you work with an

7:43

insecure manager and you have a tactic to share,

7:46

below the

7:48

cover in an upcoming video, by for now