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David Candy
Cheerful DespairEpisodes
Episodes of Cheerful Despair
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"I tried top [sic] watch [sic] this. It was beyond stupid and not even a little bit funny. Sounded like extreme left wing nonsense and trying to make it sound funny." This time on Cheerful Despair: Extreme left wing nonsense! Wow! Beyond stupi
Recorded in early 2019 and aged in an oak MacBook previously used to produce a fine Scottish audiobook. This episode has exquisite bouquets of: Time passes, possibly on the way to taking four consecutive rights and coming back to where it was
Denied their sound engineer and recording studio by an extremely rude global pandemic, David F. Porteous and David Candy bring you the subtle flavours and rich aroma of Cheerful Despair from the state-mandated comfort of their own homes. Wow! T
Cheerful Despair takes you back into the warm, slightly moist, folds of its matronly but disturbingly hairy bosom. Other joys we remind you of in this episode: The joy of babies - you can't hit them with bricks, you just can't The joy of empl
Cheerful Despair take you on a journey across time and space to celebrate New Year 2018 from the comfort of August 2019. Wow! This time on Britain's 37th best comedy podcast*: The Brigadoon extended universe "Vaseline - For a Frictionless Kitc
I read once about a podcast that vanished without warning. When it suddenly reappeared, almost two years later, everything was fine. No-one had unsubscribed and everyone just kept listening as if nothing had happened. So, you know, maybe someth
David F. Porteous and David Candy (who like Star Wars) have been to the movies with sound engineer David Chisholm (who likes football and girls). Why not listen to the aftermath? Includes STAR WARS THEMED versions of regular features Cross Quiz
"I don't know how they got into the air ducts, I just want them out. And don't let Jerry screw you around about how he warned us to put the fine mesh otterwire over the vents because otters are skinnier than they used to be. I don't care. I jus
"I don't care how many Shannon McNamara has, I am not spending five pounds on another fidget spinner! Why not listen to that stupid podcast instead?" This week: We offer our code-breaking services to GCHQ. Uh, you're welcome... Cheerful Despai
There are only two things that come out of the Cheerful Despair Podcast Studios - steers and episodes of the Cheerful Despair Podcast - and this doesn't look like a steer. Whatever a steer is. In this episode: We plot to send people who are in
Benefiting from many local amenities, this bright and stylish 2-bedroom podcast features tasteful neutral decor and returns for its 15th episode. This week: David F Porteous will never get a massage in this town again! Join the Aryan Brotherho
On this week’s action-packed instalment: Sign up! - For the Cheerful Despair Academy of Football Chow down! - On our secret recipe for beans on toast (The second ingredient will shock you!) Hook up! - With Edinburgh’s sleaziest billboard lion
“Jean, when you’re over next weekend, can you ask Mark to look at my phone again? Yeah. It’s that thing with the skeletons. Yeah. It’s come back. Okay. Okay. Thanks love. See you on Saturday.” On this week’s episode: Can David F Porteous and D
Season two of my favourite podcast comes to an end in typical style with a flurry of racism, and a battery of insults directed at anonymous/famous man Chet Hanks. Join us in wondering what he ever did to deserve this. It can't be miserable opti
Cheerful Despair, that pod-cast you forgot you subscribed to, returns. It's honestly better just to listen and not make a scene. We'll just leave a small tip and not eat here again. This time: Have your sandwiches been Phil-ed? Wow! In a new s
Welcome to another episode of Cheerful Despair - the podcast about how Star Trek the Next Generation has too many damn nerds. (This is the sound of the internet eating itself). On this episode: An initial half hour about Star Trek, which you c
As relentless as the passing of time and the approach of a referendum on the political destiny of this Moderately Good Britain - so arrives another episode of Cheerful Despair, featuring: The actual sound of regular segment Cross Quiz being wr
With profuse apologies for the failure to keep our promises for weekly uploading - even though we specifically say in this episode that this is a thing which is happening - here is a bumper episode to make up for it. Featuring regular segments
Hurtling straight at your ears like a bullet from a golden gun (which, presumably is either less dangerous or certainly no more dangerous than a bullet from a gun made of another metal) it's the Cheerful Despair Podcast!In the first episode of
Few dared dream that when we began posting podcast episodes that one day we would have posted six and that would be the end of season one - but that event and that day have arrived.In the final episode of Cheerful Despair, prepare yourselves f
Welcome to the fifth and second to final episode of season one of the Cheerful Despair podcast. In this episode:An extended discussion on the bum hose;All the lyrics to Katy Perry songs we know;Do you remember the Crazy Frog? I remember the
Welcome to the fourth episode of Cheerful Despair, subtitled "the episode I uploaded without re-listening to". In this episode:ThingsVarious stuffAlmost certainly some kind of reference to Hitler and / or time travelIf you enjoy the show,
The third episode Cheerful Despair has arrived, this one subtitled "There are just too many things for all of them to be things at once".In this episode of David Candy and David F Porteous's yet-to-be-award-winning podcast:The global conspir
Welcome to the second episode, subtitled: "If Stephen Hawking could walk, he'd never have got a film made about him."In this episode:The syphilis of Adam SmithGovernor wanted, must have own wigHow am I going to build a proper commemoratio
In the inaugural episode of the Cheerful Despair podcast, David Candy and Scottish Author David F Porteous discuss:Why chickens taste of nothingThat df never needs to pThe evil plans of the World Dryer CorporationFeaturing regular segment
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